as always

Ang pag-ibig, di ko gets. Ang buhay, madalas di ko gets. Ang med school, lagi di ko gets. Unfortunately.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of material that we need to know in such a short time, the gravity of this profession, the consequences of our errors, and the future.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Exams breathing down our necks, papers waiting to be written, reports clamoring for our attention, and mounds of books begging to be read.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Often I feel inadequate, unprepared, small.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Afraid? No sirree, am not afraid.

Do not be afraid for I am with you.

I'm terrified... petrified. Scared out of my wits.

Be joyful always.

Hindi pa ko ready mag-junior intern! Hindi pa ko ready mag-board exam!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Wala pa kong alam! Pano pag bumagsak ako sa Block? Pano pag nagkamali ako sa wards?

If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

I find myself asking again, "Why am I here? Why did I choose medicine again? Why am I participating in this kind of torture?"

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Sana nag-literature major na lang ako. Or teach english as a second language. Or genetic research. Or anything but medicine.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Faced with the amount of stuff I need to understand and memorize, I shut down.

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

I can't think at all. Nag-hang ata ung brain ko.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

During these times, there is nothing for me to do but run to my Heavenly Father and cry my heart out. It's the ultimate detox.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

I am small.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

I am inadequate.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I can't do this alone.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Last night, I could no longer stem the tide of despair that washed over me as I thought about tomorrow's exam. Hindi pa ko handa mag-exam bukas.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

And so I ran to the Lord. And he was there. Waiting.

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

And like always, I felt better after being hugged by the loving arms that hold the universe together.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

Like always, his voice is soothing and familiar. It came and calmed me.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

And He brought me out of the pit that I put myself in.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

I guarantee there will be other times as these... hindi pa ito ang huli.

Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.

Kanina, I slept in a hammock between our jackfruit tree and a post in our porch. The breeze was cool and the afternoon was not too hot. It was very refreshing.

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Mamaya, lamay nanaman kami mag-aral.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

And tomorrow will come as tomorrows always do.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

And next year, ganito ulit. And like last night, He will also be there to hold me then.

He will not let your foot slip -- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

As always.