sana maulit muli

Napakasaya na makakita ng dating kakilala.

Masarap sa puso ang makakita ng kaibigan na sobrang tagal nang hindi mo nayayakap.

Iba pa rin ang makipag-dalanginan kasama ang taong nakakaintindi at nakakakilala sa iyo.

Nakakagaan ng puso ang umiyak kasama ang kaibigan.

Nakakatuwa mag-reminisce kasama ang isang esvee.

Buti na lng pumunta ako sa La Carlota.

*matinding yakap*

blood for blood

PB got out of the hospital today. Give points for batch solidarity! =) yahoo! Well, diba 12 bags ung naubos ni Pibs... Each bag costs about 1,600php. But because that's a little too much.... my classmates donated their Red Cross cards to her na lng and some even donated blood then and there. There were even a lot of us in line to give blood in case hindi pa umabot ung Red Cross cards. Ang saya noh! Literally giving your blood for someone's sake. For their benefit. Just because you love them. With no expectation of a reward.

It kinda makes me understand more what Jesus did on the cross.
Blood for blood.
Because of love.

exposure sa NICU

Two weeks ago (kase every other week lang kami may duty), na-assign kami sa NICU. That's the neonatal intensive care unit. Dito dumadating ang lahat ng sick babies na bagong panganak at lahat ng premature babies. Nasubukan kong magpakain sa baby gamit ang syringe. Kakaiba. Kakatakot. Na-experience ko rin, for the first time, ang magkarga ng premature baby at ipa-burp sya. Gudlak. Mukhang naumpog siya sa balikat ko. Pero ok pa rin naman sya.

I'm not fond of children. I'm not fond of babies. And I don't like sick babies. I'm scared of babies. Ok lang ung mga well babies e, kase cute and mataba and all. Pero pag sick, mas nakakatakot sila hawakan. Parang anytime sila malalagutan ng hininga. Masyado kase silang fragile, sa tingin ko. They're so tiny and helpless and... well, dependent. And eto ako, ang laki-laki, tapos engot pagdating sa paghahawak ng bata. Nakakatakot. Tapos iyak din sila ng iyak. Nakakarindi. At nakaka-awa din naman sila.

Na-stress ako dun sa NICU. Yung iba kong classmates enjoy na enjoy. Ako naman, stressed na stressed. Sabi ko pa naman dati gusto kong maging neonatologist tutal genetics naman ung major ko nung college... pero hindi ko pala carry ang mamalagi kasama ng mga bagong panganak. Mabubuang ako.

Kudos ulit sa mga kaibigan ko na may mga anak na. Hanga tlga ko sa inyo, how you could take care of another person at this age. I can't even take care of myself.. Amazing kayo. Mga nanay, saludo ako sa inyo.

thank you Lord for friends

Thank you Lord for friends.
Thank you for email and the internet to keep us connected kahit ang layo layo namin sa isa't isa.
Thank you for happy memories.
Thank you for warm and tight and long hugs.
Thank you because we can pray for each other.
Thank you for their birthdays when we can celebrate their lives.
Thank you for cellphones dahil madali na sila itext.
Thank you Lord for fun with them. For times of eating together.
Thank you for crying moments and crazy days.
Thank you for we know you are with us.
Thank you Lord for friends.

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day sa lahat ng Tatay at sa mga kaibigan kong magiging Tatay din sa mga darating na panahon. Hi tito M, and kuya popsky. =) Happy, Happy. At kay Tito Gary, Tito Darrell and Ninong Ferdie. At kay Kuya Nico and Kuya Aldwin. Kuya Efren, Kuya Iggy, Doc Billy, Kuya Ric, Kuya Bert, Jeremy, happy Fathers's Day din po. Tito Leonin, Happy Migo's Day! At lalo na kay Tatay ko na nasa Davao ngayon. Happy Tatay's Day, Tatay! *mwahugs* love kita.

When Tatay laughs, you'll know it's him kahit na may pader pa na nasa pagitan nyong dalawa.

When Tatay snores, ganun din. Hehe. =)

I call my Tatay 'Le Ogre' because he's ogre-ish sometimes. Pero ako lang ang pwedeng tumawag sa kanya nun. Ang tawag sa kanya ni Nanay ay Dodong. Bisaya jud.

He used to carry me on his shoulders when I was little.

And pag nagsi-swimming kami, he would let me hold on to his shoulders as he swims. Kaya never ako natuto lumangoy kase lagi lang akong sabit kay Tatay (parang remora at shark).

I remember waking in the middle of the night and seeing him watching TV, or reading a book, praying, or studying for a sermon. Sa kanya namin nakuha ung pagiging bampira...

He used to tell us stories about 'Sang Dangaw. Hindi ko na maalala kung ano mga ginawa nun.

Mahilig sya sa tuna, o kahit anong seafood at sa pinakurat na suka. At paborito nya ang Buffet Palace. Hehe.

Gusto nya maging farmer ngayon na retired na siya.

Tatay sana nga bigyan ka pa ni Lord ng lakas for the next 10 years or more. Kakanta ka pa ng Butterfly Kisses sa kasal ko at duet pa kayo ni Nanay sa Sunrise, Sunset.

I love you Tatay. I-bless ka pa lalo ni Lord. *hug*

bisita

Ngayong araw ay meron akong naging bisita mula Maynila. Hindi man ako ang tunay nyang dahilan ng pagpunta dito dahil hindi nya naman ako KCmate, nakakatuwa pa rin siyang makita. Esvee din kase sya sa LB. At aso't pusa kami nun. Exciting ang buhay pag anjan sya. Haha. At boyfriend na sya ngayon ng dati kong housemate. At hindi kami boto sa kanya nun. Haha. Kaya naman talagang nakakatuwa na makita siya ulit ngayon.

Dumating siya ng mga alas quatro ng hapon. Galing siya ng Bacolod dahil binisita nya ang mga KCmates nya doon. Nanonood ako ng 'Love Letter' nung dumating siya kasama ang KCmate nya na taga-Iloilo. Nagkwentuhan kami sa bahay at kinwento pa nya ang love life nya at ang unang 'weeksary' nila nung girlfriend nya. Nakakatawa talaga. Ang corny! Haha. Tapos nun, pumunta kami ng SM at kumain ng La Paz Batchoy. Mga bandang alas siyete ng gabi ay kinailangan nang umuwi ng kasama naming isa kaya hinatid na namin siya sa sakayan. Matapos nun ay naglakad-lakad na kami sa loob ng SM habang nagkekwentuhan dahil umuulan sa labas. At nag-iyakan kami sa FoodCourt. hehe. Ako lang pala ung umiyak. At pinagpray nya ako.

At tunay ngang nakakagaan ng puso ang magkaroon ng kausap na nakaka-intindi sa iyo. At hininga ko sa kanya ang mga saloobin ko nitong dalawang taon na nakalipas. At nakakatuwa dahil dati, ako ung hinihingahan nila sa LB... Pakiramdam ko nabunutan ako ng tinik sa puso. Nakakatuwang isipin na siya pa ang nalabasan ko ng mga hinaing ko e sobrang aso't pusa tlga kami nung college. Si Lord nga naman, kakaiba humirit.

Nung andun naman ako sa Rizal Recreation Center nung 23 ay nagkaroon din ako ng bisita. Ako talga ang pinunta nya doon pero meron din siya nakita na dating mga kaibigan. Hehe. Nakakatuwa. Hindi kami aso't pusa nitong taong ito. Hingahan namin ang isa't isa noon pa at pinapagalitan nya din ako pag nagloloko na ako, kahit na mas matanda pa ako sa kanya. Buti na lng at dinalaw niya ako. Masayang masaya ang puso ko nang makita ko siya, hindi man halata.

Kaya eto, ok na ulit ako. Salamat sa Diyos. Salamat sa Kanya sa pag-gamit nya kay Mayk. Sige na nga Ate KC, boto nako sa kanya. =) Salamat salamat kitot at nagpagamit ka sa Kanya at dinalaw mo ako. Salamat. *yakap*

31 years

hmm... i wrote about Tatay and Nanay's 31st anniversary sa tint27.multiply.com and i don't know why it isn't here. owell... just read it there na lng.

happy 31st anniversary Nanay and Tatay! *hugsmwah!*

press on

sometime this week, mga tuesday siguro, nanay and I were watching the local news (yes, i even watch the news now) when nanay reacted kase kilala nya ung nasa TV. the girl was crying and the news was about someone who was shot in the heart. motive was para nakawan ng about 50thousand++ pesos ung lalaking nakasakay sa isang motorcycle. (he was involved with Center for Community Transformation (CCT) and they're in microfinance.) so nanay texted one of our friends and kilala pala nila ung namatay. so nanay went to the wake of this friend of hers mga two days later. and there she learned na the day after their friend died, two others from the same organization were killed at their office sa ibang parte ng davao. this time, sinaksak naman sila. a guy and a girl. the girl was stabbed 21 times daw. the guy, ewan ko.

And the Lord used these tragic incidents to remind me that my life is in His hands. He is in control. No matter what happens to me and mine in the course of our different ministries, He holds me secure in His hands and I have nothing to fear. And I was reminded, again, how I should act towards my enemies. Toink! Yes, Lord, speak. For your servant listens.

here is the 'Statement to the General Public' na inissue ng CCT:

"We (CCT) mourn deeply the loss and senseless killing of our three young staff. These are idealistic young people who have dedicated their young lives to the service of our poor here in Davao. They have done this because of their love for God and neighbor. We do not understand the brutal violence that has sent them to their deaths.

But while we grieve, we wish to make it known that we bear no ill will against those who have done this deed. We only wish to make it known that we are prepared to forgive, and pray that they may turn from the darkness that has driven them to this great evil and find forgiveness and new life in Christ.

We enjoin our brothers and sisters in our faith communities to continue to serve, not in fear but in faith; trusting that the God of justice is with us and holds us all secure in His loving hands."

as always

Ang pag-ibig, di ko gets. Ang buhay, madalas di ko gets. Ang med school, lagi di ko gets. Unfortunately.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed by the amount of material that we need to know in such a short time, the gravity of this profession, the consequences of our errors, and the future.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Exams breathing down our necks, papers waiting to be written, reports clamoring for our attention, and mounds of books begging to be read.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Often I feel inadequate, unprepared, small.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Afraid? No sirree, am not afraid.

Do not be afraid for I am with you.

I'm terrified... petrified. Scared out of my wits.

Be joyful always.

Hindi pa ko ready mag-junior intern! Hindi pa ko ready mag-board exam!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Wala pa kong alam! Pano pag bumagsak ako sa Block? Pano pag nagkamali ako sa wards?

If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

I find myself asking again, "Why am I here? Why did I choose medicine again? Why am I participating in this kind of torture?"

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Sana nag-literature major na lang ako. Or teach english as a second language. Or genetic research. Or anything but medicine.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Faced with the amount of stuff I need to understand and memorize, I shut down.

'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

I can't think at all. Nag-hang ata ung brain ko.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

During these times, there is nothing for me to do but run to my Heavenly Father and cry my heart out. It's the ultimate detox.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

I am small.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

I am inadequate.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

I can't do this alone.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Last night, I could no longer stem the tide of despair that washed over me as I thought about tomorrow's exam. Hindi pa ko handa mag-exam bukas.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

And so I ran to the Lord. And he was there. Waiting.

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

And like always, I felt better after being hugged by the loving arms that hold the universe together.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

Like always, his voice is soothing and familiar. It came and calmed me.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

And He brought me out of the pit that I put myself in.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

I guarantee there will be other times as these... hindi pa ito ang huli.

Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.

Kanina, I slept in a hammock between our jackfruit tree and a post in our porch. The breeze was cool and the afternoon was not too hot. It was very refreshing.

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Mamaya, lamay nanaman kami mag-aral.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

And tomorrow will come as tomorrows always do.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

And next year, ganito ulit. And like last night, He will also be there to hold me then.

He will not let your foot slip -- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

As always.