ta-te-tint-to-tu

bagong taon

2010-01-02T15:17:00.000+08:00

- makapagsuklay na nga ng mas madalas or magpagupit na lng ulit?
- mag-exercise! have to attend a wedding e. haha para bagay sa dress.
- write more. i miss writing.
- visit palawan. and tour mindanao. and the north. basta go someplace i've never been before.
- attend AFMC sa last week of August
- pass the Boards this August (pero according to diose, aim to top the boards daw. why not? ^_^)
- pray more.
- read more books.
- matutong magluto ng adobo. since it's one of my favorites, and relatively simple, i'll start with that. have to survive in the boondocks on my own. at ayaw ko namang mabuhay sa pancit canton. haha :)
- learn how to apply eyeshadow. haha. wala lng.
- makipag-'date' sa esvees
- maging more involved sa cbc
- eat healthier.
- be a better ninang.
- cut down on facebook. really.
- perform a thoracentesis. ^_^! :)
- intubate. not that i'm asking for patients. i just want to learn how.
- get a postal id.
- take piano lessons after the boards na lng.

do all of the above. i hope. :)

<3 advance happy birthday manong jaja!

2009-12-12T12:45:00.000+08:00

had a date with manong jaja last week. :) sa SM Megamall. sa Kenny Rogers. :)
got him the book he wanted: Noli Me Tangere in English. hehe
sayasaya. <3 Birthday nya sa December 19.

Happy birthday banong. ;p love you. *hugtight*

crazy conversations

2009-09-06T17:43:00.000+08:00

I have this friend who's in Japan, so understandably, news from home don't reach her as they happen (pero minsan naman clueless talga sya kahit nung andito pa sya). We all know her and love her pero she asked to have her name concealed muna dito. I'd like to share one of our crazy conversations kase she sent me to gales of laughter because of it. :) I'll just call her "ate".

ate: where are you now? hows residency?
tint kulit: i'm not in residency
tint kulit: haha
tint kulit: i'm just a PGI
tint kulit: post grad intern
ate: waaahhhhh. sorry
tint kulit: im at home now actually. weekend off
tint kulit: it's ok. residency is after the board exam pa
ate: aaahhhhh... ic. kelan boards?
tint kulit: next year, august
ate: owow... full-fledge ka na pag balik ko... been to elbi lately?
tint kulit: i sure hope so!
tint kulit: sana take one lang
ate: go! one take lang!
ate: have you balita with tito m?
tint kulit: tito m, has many meds na
ate: hows love life tint?
tint kulit: me?
tint kulit: nyak
tint kulit: what made you ask?
ate: kasi aug ko lang nabalitaan abt gideon and kit, and i had to buy my own emobile internet to catch that balita, which was 4 months old na by then....
tint kulit: hahaha
ate: haha talaga
tint kulit: anu ba. nung april lang naman sila
ate: oo nga 4 months old. yung mga tao sa elbi like, ha.... hindi mo alam??
tint kulit: as in ngayon mo lng nalaman?
ate: 3 weeks ago
ate: make tha 2 wks and a half
tint kulit: hahahaha
ate: so para hindi na ko magulat tinanong na kita stright
tint kulit: hahahahahaha
tint kulit: you
tint kulit: are
tint kulit: funny
tint kulit: may i repost this conversation in a blog?
tint kulit: this is one of the craziest conversations i've had
tint kulit: hahaha
tint kulit: may i?
ate: adik... really??
ate: ocge... can you change my name?
tint kulit: oh but it's more fun with your name in it!
tint kulit: that's what makes it crazy. comments coming from you!
tint kulit: haha
ate: ADIK!
tint kulit: "so para hindi nako magulat, i'll ask you straight."
tint kulit: hahahaha
ate: decribe me na lang to make it obevous na its me, pero dont put my name in it. then pag nasanay na ko seeing d blog, maybe we can change it na. (adik ka)
ate: deal?
tint kulit: hahaha
tint kulit: sureness
ate: but you didnt really answered my question yknow
tint kulit: ikaw ang adik
ate: :)) (my turn)
tint kulit: wala syempre. ano ba?!
tint kulit: don't worry, when i do, everyone will know it.
tint kulit: and you won't be late knowing it either
tint kulit: hahaha
ate: thanks appreciate it;9

hanep kumabig ng tanong si ate ano? haha. from how's tito m to how's love life? ng walang kurap mata nyang tinanong. hahaha! di man lang ako nakahinga, iba na ang topic nya. hahaha. :) crazy. crazy. my favorite line: "so para hindi na ako magulat, tinanong na kita straight". yep. crazy lady there.

may iba pa bang magtatanong jan? wag naman na ako ang ginugulat nyo. pambihira.
lol.

yummy cupcakes

2009-09-02T16:41:00.000+08:00

Banana cupcakes.
(made by joshua garcia)
They smell really nice.
Tasted great.
Reminded me of Nanay's baking, and that's saying a lot.
Yey, thanks for the treat!

Galing ng delivery boy! Madaya nga lang kase pupunta sya ng elbi. hmph. Waaaah....

Proof that Joshua G. has a heart.
Ah eh.. kapapanood ko lang kase ng Iron Man recently.
Just let me borrow the phrase na lng. :)
(Ei, josh, we were just talking about you sa sunday school nung sunday.
miss ka na daw ni honey! hehehe.)
My friends enjoyed your cupcakes as well, see! :D
Sa uulitin!

unladylike

2009-08-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

Tsktsk.
Regrets? Not a mite.

Flowery sun dress
plus
Red chucks
plus
UP jacket
plus
wall

equals

fun, fun, fun. :)

@ Museo Pambata during Kaleb's birthday.
Thanks to Joshua Garcia for the picture (and the jacket).

oh for joy!

2009-08-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

I rejoice with all the 2009 Medical Board Exam passers! Grabe, congratulations! kasama nyo ako sa pagdalangin for it at sa paghintay ng paglabas ng results. sumakit katawan ko sa suspense! pambihira. :D your joy is my joy. umaapaw, sobra-sobra. nakikitalon, nakikitambling, nakikisigaw ako sa galak at saya na inyong nadarama ngayong gabi.

sa mga kilala ko:
Lovelle Ranario (UPMin Bio batchmate and roommate nung 1st year)
Herb Howard Hernandez (na Xientian, Curie)
Doc Bryna, Doc Joanne, Doc Yong, Doc Wright, Doc Ai, Doc Karen, Don Tonet, at sa iba ko pang PGI sa West Visayas State U
Ida Ingrid Rocha (ivcf, svmanila)

Kudos! Kudos! *clap, clap*
pa-burger naman kayo jan! hehehee

To God be the glory!
yeah, at sabi nga sa yupi.... Serve the People! :D hehehe.

Book: Live Life on Purpose

2009-08-08T10:40:00.000+08:00

God's Purpose. Your Life. One Journey.
Author: Claude Hickman

(I was told by my tyrannical churchmate, BJ Goco, to read this book in one week. He gave it to me on Sunday. I finished it yesterday. Laking takot ko na lng sa kanya.)

In this world we live in, it is so easy to get busy with so many wholesome and to-die-for causes. This isn't necessarily wrong, mind you, it's just that we should also think in the light of eternity if what we're doing is making any impact. This book challenges the reader to evaluate his life based on the perspective of God. It gives a global picture of the heart of God since the beginning until the end of time and it invites us to welcome interruptions in our lives so that we would be able to take part in God's agenda.

What really is man's purpose on earth? and what is God's heart? What is the entire Bible about?

if you don't know... I invite you to attend the Sunday service at Caloocan Bible Church on the first Sunday of October (antagal pa e noh) kase si BJ Goco ang speaker namin no. :) and this is his topic. pero dapat di ka na maghintay pa ng ganun katagal. If you don't know nga... you can ask me. Or you can read this book.

just thinking

2009-08-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

i was born in 1983.
i don't remember living in a country where martial law reigned.
i don't remember ninoy being shot.
in 1986, we lived in cebu.
my family wasn't there at EDSA that first time.
only my second brother was there in EDSA the second time kase i was in davao then.

i haven't been part of a lot of things
and i may have been too young when those things were happening
but i'm not altogether clueless about their implications
and i do know that tita cory is a lot more than this sweet old lady who's always flashing the loser sign (not from me. i just got this description somewhere oh yeah, from joel wagan. and he got it from someone who texted him. i do know it's a laban sign and what it stood for)...

tatay and nanay texted earlier that they've been watching the coverage of tita cory's wake and burial. and that they could not stop their tears as they remember people power and ninoy's wake and funeral.

i admire cory for doing what needed to be done at a time when things had to be done.
i'm sure it wasn't easy. and the many coup attempts not making it any easier pa.
i remember watching a video of ninoy's life and being proud that he and i are Filipinos.

this couple made us believe in the Filipino people.
they made the concept of nationhood real and meaningful.
for that i thank them. and for that i admire them because they lived their convictions.
and they died for them.
today we not only remember cory's life, but ninoy's as well. and the period when so many people cried and bled and fought and died for freedom.

i thank God for their lives.
thank you that i do not remember living in a time when martial law reigned.
i was born in 1983.

updating...

2009-08-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

>> overnight at Inkay and Lukei's house nung August 1 kase dadating daw si Maricar... na hindi naman sumipot. Pambihira. Anyway, the night was still fun. Always good to see old friends and classmates. Ang unanimous comment nila: ako ay ilongga na. hindi na daw ako bisaya. :) Wooohooo!!

>> church at CBC after so long na sunday duty ako lagi. yey. birthday celebration din ni Jaivy (na hindi ko kinu-kuya). Kuya Alex got me a ticket for Coro et al. Yey. I hope i can go. It's on August 16, Sunday.... Aikee, pwede ako lng sunday duty next sunday para off ko sa 16? hehehe

>> Duty at PCMC. 6 days lang. nung saturday nag-start until thursday this week. No 24hours duty! Wooohoo. We get to scrub in in Pedia Surgeries. Bukas, ang cases namin ay oh no.... i forgot.... basta 2 cases na hindi patent ang anal opening... and the other i forgot! nyaks...

>> finished rotating at EAMC Surgery-Ortho-Uro. One month yun. Pagod pero masaya. Ambabait ng mga Residents and andami nilang naituro sa amin. Toxic lng talaga ang ER kase nga trauma center kami.

>> was on duty sa ER nung dumating ang dalawang artista (Paolo Paraiso and Rian Ramos yata yun) kase they had a friend who consulted at the ophtha department... and i was like, sino sila? di ko sila kilala. hahaha. like i care? hahahaha. clueless with pinoy tv...

>> naging phlebotomist ng 10days sa Ortho at Uro. vampires. yep. we drew blood. then drew blood again and again and again and again. panalo. sorry na lng sa mga patients ko na ilang beses kong tinusukan...

>> hindi kami pumasa sa exam-examan namin sa Schwartz chapters 1 to 8 na! pambihira. dapat makapasa nako dito sa next 4 chapters namin: Breast, Hernias, Appendix, and Liver. 70% passing. ang hirap!

>> Outside rotation na ako ngayon ng Surgery. One week each kami this August sa PCMC (for pedia surgeries), then Kidney (for transplants), then Heart (for cardio surgeries), then Lung (for benignity. hahaha! hindi for CTT daw... haha.). Cool diba. Then back to EAMC in September.

i lost my wallet :(

2009-07-17T15:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sure i had it sa jeep yesterday.
I'm not sure if i had it when i entered the door ng house namin dito sa cubao. Kase from duty and status ko yesterday and i probably dozed off sa jeep.
Pero i'm about 90something percent sure i had it with me when i got home.
I used my barya going to the hospital kanina. The barya was already in the pocket of my blazer.
I didn't have a wallet when i was in the hospital kanina.
I assumed i left my wallet dito sa bahay.
When i got back... wala ang wallet ko dito sa house.

It's a small blue pouch.
It has my atm.
My philhealth card.
Laking National Bookstore Card and SM Advantage Card.
Ung visitor's pass sa condo ni Tarits.
And about 800pesos. Give or take some.

I either lost it sa jeep or dito sa house.
Waaaaaahhh..
Ayoko na mag-isip. Sabi nga ni Ninang, we hope it didn't get lost dito sa house.

:((( I need my atm.
And the philhealth card.
Alright, i also need the money pero if the person needs it more, then ok lng. Kahit ung ATM at philhealth card na lng. :(((
Advance Merry Christmas na lang sa kanya.

Waaaaaah......
Ngayon, how do i apply 'In everything give thanks'? 'In whatever circumstance, rejoice'?

Thank you Lord hindi ako naulanan kanina. :)
At thank you dahil hindi nanakaw ung cellphone ko this time. Hahaha.
And thank you because I know you saw this. At ikaw ang bahala dito.
For whatever purpose, I believe you will make this come out for the good. Like you always do.

Bakit ang hirap ma-prune?! Hahaha.

los banos, aking mahal

2009-03-31T16:42:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, i was in manila. Fiftieth anniversary kase ng home church namin. Yun ay ang Caloocan Bible Church. It was the church where my mom and dad met. It was where they got married. It was where i was dedicated. Dun din na-ordain si Tatay. At dun din kaming tatlong magkakapatid ay na-baptize. So i wanted to be there. And by God's grace and provision, I was able to go. Magaling si Lord.

Saturday, I went straight to UPLB from the airport. Adik ako e. Adik sa esvees. Adik sa elbi. At nagkita kami ng mga esvees. Wheeeeee! *bighug*

i saw eena's happy nails. hehe. ang saya. they're shining, shimmering shplendid! And I also saw my dear dear cousin Tantan again. I met Eloi again (the first time was during the feb fair last year parang ilang seconds lang) pero it felt like i've known her for years! And of course there were Migs, and Deneb, and Karis, and Omar, and my twin sister Chara, and Philip, and Irish. (may nakalimutan ba ako?) Of course, si Kit.:)

I missed Dan (i was really expecting your matinding hirits...)
And Alvin (who promised cracking knuckles...)
Wala kayo. Ayun. Na-lost tuloy ang mga esvee boys. Haaaay nako.

I'll see more of you again next time ha. *hug*

the last week

2009-03-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

last week na lng of duties. this is going to be the longest week of our internship lives siguro.... konti na lng and we're finally free. :)

imagine, matatapos na namin ang 365 days of duty. haaaay...

thank you Lord for strength.
thank you Lord for grace.

sa puyat. sa pagod. sa pag-iyak. sa nakakainis na mga karanasan. salamat.
sa masasayang duties. sa masisipag na groupmates. sa mababait na residents. salamat.
sa hindi magagandang experiences. sa mga olats moments. sa mga frightening situations. salamat.
sa adrenaline rush. sa boring times. sa panahon na nakakatulog kami while on duty. salamat.
sa mga stab wounds, gunshot wounds, lacerated wounds, punctured wounds at lahat ng klaseng wounds na natuto kami magtahi. salamat.
sa sakit ng katawan. sa kaba sa dibdib. sa terror na mga consultants. salamat.
sa mga na-deliver na babies na well. salamat.
sa nakaka-intindi na mga housemates and friends. salamat.
sa mga irate folks. irate PGIs. irate interns. irate patients. irate residents. irate nurses. irate everybody. salamat.
sa mga cool din naman na mga tao, lalo na ang mga cardiotechs. salamat.
salamat, Lord. salamat sa buong taon.

salamat at buhay pa ako. at wala pa akong Hepa B. at wala din akong TB na active.
:)

salamat po. salamat.

at the Social Hygiene Clinic....

2009-03-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

...i sat down and almost wept. My heart felt for them. But i was silent.

"Are you betrothed?"
"No, only loved."
"And do you pay for love?"
"No, but i owe it everything."

I am now reading Calvin Miller's The Singer, The Song and The Finale. And we are now rotating at the City Health Office here in Iloilo. And kanina, we were posted at the Social Hygiene Clinic where we get to meet and examine these special women whom God also loves. First time ko to be within reach of one. It was a different experience.

I was reminded by those lines above when i entered the clinic. There were so many of them, these Friendship Sellers. And i had these urge to hug them and tell them that someone loves them for real. To teach them the Song of the Troubadour. To share to them the infinite love of the EarthMaker to whom i also owe everything. But i couldn't. I was silent. Lord, forgive me. I just smiled at them, tried to be kind and friendly, and did my best to smear fast and without causing pain. Hoping that at least by my doing so, i may share God's love somehow...

As a doctor, how can i share to them my faith? Share to them the hope that there is life and love that is pure and real and free? Jesus took only a few minutes with the woman at the well... Bakit ako nawalan ng sasabihin? A few minutes... I know the One who can free them from these dances that the World Hater has taught them. But i failed to sing to them the Song...

Father, do not forget them. Please bring people who can sing to them your Song so that they can be set free from their chains and have life in you.

mt. napulak (third dose)

2009-03-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

That's us, the nine crazy junior interns at the top of Mt. Napulak's "Nipple". Mt. Napulak is shaped like a breast daw kase and there's this big rock at the peak (parang Ayer's Rock sa Australia pero a lot smaller...) na mukhang nipple nung mountain pag sa malayo. There's a steel cross at the top of this rock (pero di na namin kinunan ng picture). The view here is wonderful, sobra. You can see until the coast at kita din ang Guimaras and Negros. Then the other side of the mountain is Antique na daw.

Bumaba na kami from the nipple before sunset. Kase it would have been dangerous to go back down without lights. So we watched the sunset dun sa baba ng nipple na lng.

Night time at the peak was cold. Really cold. Ang kasama namin na asthmatic was wheezing before morning. Hahaha. Tsktsk. The winds were strong and cold. Super. Part ng kabaliwan namin ay wala kaming dalang mga sleeping bags. The winds sounded like waves crashing on the beach pag may bagyo. Of us 11 (including the guide), si Manong Morot (the guide) and Jun (the guest) and Jewel (na friend of the mountaineer, haha!) lang ang may dala ng sleeping bags. I had two sweatshirts and 3 beddings. Hiniram ni Roch ung isa kong sweater kase di sya nkadala. Grabe. Super ginaw. I kept waking every 2 hours, wishing for morning. It was one of the longest nights in my life. Di ko na ma-feel halos ung paa ko sa lamig. Haha. But we survived until morning naman.

Morning was foggy. And wet. We were IN the clouds. :) Parang benguet yung lamig. Like the time na nag-EchoCamp kami sa Benguet na binagyo kami. Waaaaah... Wet and cold. We went down at about 8am... basa pa yung mga cogon grass at matalim sila. We skidded and slid part of the way down the slope lalo na dun sa mga cogon parts. Scary. Buti na lng mejo may clouds below us kase we couldn't see the drop. Haaay. My knees were buckling before we got to ground zero. It took us 4 hours to get from the peak to the coconuts waiting for us sa town. :)

make-up

2009-03-18T12:23:00.000+08:00

Magaling yung make-up artist.....

Yung photographer di masyado.... or di lng tlga ako photogenic... hehe....

Ewan... basta today, nagpapicture na kami for the gradpic... at ayan po ang makeup ko dun. :)

mt. napulak (2nd dose)

2009-03-16T14:54:00.000+08:00

4am. Saturday. March 14, 2009. Kami ni Leng, Jun (ang "boy" ni Leng at nag-iisang hindi med sa climbing party) and si Jonas ay sumakay sa jeep papuntang Igbaras, Iloilo dahil ang sabi samin ng mga classmates namin ay 6am daw kami magsisimulang umakyat sa Mt. Napulak. The previous night pa sila andun (Friday).

We got there at about 530am at tulog pa sila. :) 7am pa naman daw kami magsisimula sa aming adventure for the day. So nagluto pa ng mga pagkain na babaunin, nag-ayos ng mga gamit ang kung ano-ano pa. Then sinundo na kami ng mga motorcycles ('habal-habal - 2 passengers + 1 driver sa isang maliit na motor) na magdadala sa amin sa paanan ng Mt. Napulak... sa Brgy. Lib-on.

Sa Brgy. Lib-on namin na-meet si Manong Morot na syang guide namin (and sya ang guide ng halos lahat na umaakyat dun sa Napulak). We started out at about 815am... Nagsimula kaming maglakad sa mga taniman ng peanuts at tobacco. After some time ng paglalakad.... pagod na kami lahat.... at tinanong namin si Manong: 'Malapit na po ba?', at ang sagot ni Manong, 'Kung sa zero to ten.... nasa zero pa lang tayo...' Wahahahaha... panalo..... at pagod na pagod na kami nun... :)

Then nagsimula na ang pa-akyat namin na paglalakad. Pumasok kami ng forest.... at umakyat... at umakyat... at umakyat.... Dumaan kami sa mga lugar na bangin na ang next sa amin... crazy tlga. Oh yeah, did i mention that 2 people in our party were wearing tsinelas??? Hahahaha... kabaliwan tlga. :) Then dumating nanaman kami sa isang point na super ganda ng view.... at tinanong namin si manong kung malapit na ba kami at ang sagot nya, "Malayo pa. Wala pa tayo sa 1/3." At sumagot ako nito: 'Manong, mula ngayon po, ang isasagot mo lang sa amin pag nagtanong kami kung malayo pa ay, "malapit na!"' Hehhee.... at ang bait talaga ni Manong Morot.... dahil for the next 5 hours... everytime we asked him kung malayo pa, ang sagot nya nga sa amin ay "malapit na"". Wahahahahaha. The best tlaga si Manong!

Nakakita nga pala kami ng Rafflesia flower. :) At sabi ni manong, tanda daw un na mataas na kami. Dahil hindi daw tumutubo ang Rafflesia sa mababang mga lugar. Yep, it smells bad. Hehe.

We got to a point where the tree-line ended and the cogon-grass started.... And that was when the major crawling started. Pambihira. Parang may trail lang na level, tapos there was this slope before us. And nagtanong kami kay manong, "jan ba tayo sa taas?" at ang sagot ni manong, "Di pa, mga dalawang ganyan pa." Waaaaaaaah...... It took us about two hours from that point to reach the peak. We were on our hands and feet na talaga paakyat. At malakas ang sikmura ng titingin pababa.... (lahat kami malakas ang sikmura. hehe) We finally got to the top at about 3pm. Haaay salamat.

mt. napulak (first dose)

2009-03-16T13:49:00.000+08:00

Kabaliwan.
Ito ang naisip namin nung kami ay umaakyat slash gumagapang paakyat ng bundok ng Napulak. Sino bang nag-aya na umakyat kami dun at ihahagis namin sya sa bangin! Yan din ang isa sa mga sinabi namin habang hingal na hingal kaming lumalakad.

It took us 7 hours to hike up Mt. Napulak, which just happens to be the highest mountain in Igbaras, Iloilo standing at 1,200ft above sea level. It was mostly uphill.... almost all uphill.

At sino kaming mga umakyat? Kami, mga junior interns ng West. We were 10 plus si Manong Morot na guide namin. Imagine, 9 interns plus 1 (the other one was a "guest" aka "boy" ng isa sa amin, he was a civil engineer, haha) who did nothing related to the outdoors this past 4 years. Oo, sanay kami sa 32 hours duty, sa mga all-nighter na surgeries, at sa endless IV to follow at akyat-panaog sa 4th floor ng hospital pag wala nang elevator sa madaling araw. Pero hindi kami ever nag-prepare to hike sobrang daming kilometers uphill bearing about 2liters sa mga bags namin. Over. Kabaliwan talaga. Sabi ko na nga e... may sayad ang mga nag-me-med... at ang mga in-lab... hahahaha....

It was a gruelling climb. Understatement. Hahaha. Pambihira talaga. Pero punong-puno ng mga katatawanan at pambihirang enjoyment din. I don't think i could hike/crawl up that mountain had it not been for the rib-cracking jokes namin to get me through. It was a wonderful experience. And the view at the top? Spectacular! Magnificent! Glorious! Breath-taking! It was worth all the effort and the fatigue, and the now-present sakit ng buong katawan. And the bragging rights? Hahaha, priceless.

Kabaliwan. Since it was a 'professional mountain' and kami ay nothing but professional climbers. Future docs oo, but climbers we are not. Pero masaya pa rin ako na nakaakyat ako dun. Hindi ko na sya uulitin siguro... ibang bundok naman. :)

Pero kayo, akyat din kayo. Maganda sa tuktok ng Mt. Napulak. Sulit ang pagod nyo.

mandibular third molar

2009-03-08T12:27:00.000+08:00

mine hurts.
on the right.
it's erupting. again.
through the gums.
OUCH!

i'm not such a fan of pain meds...
and i think mataas tlga pain tolerance ko.
pero i'm taking mefenamic acid na.
hindi pa naman every 6 hours.
pero thrice nako nag-take.
it really hurts.
and i have R CLAD na.
hirap mag-open ng mouth.
it hurts talaga.
have to see dentist soon.

this my song of grateful praise

2009-03-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

Rejoice with me dear friends and family of the heart!
Rejoice with me for the Lord is good and faithful always!

Ga-graduate po ako as scheduled on April 22 with my batchmates in Medicine at West Visayas State University. Yey! *cartwheels*

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Faithful si God always. Always.
His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness indeed.

Makisama po kayo sa kasiyahan ko at ng aking buong pamilya. :)
At sama-sama po nating bigyang papuri ang Ama.

:) thank you for journeying with me. thank you po for praying for my exams. thank you for listening to all my rantings about med life. thank you for being there.

:))

*bigbighug*

Praise the Lord!

SR mode

2009-03-01T16:58:00.000+08:00

Naglow-batt ung cam namin.... kaya ito na lng ang mumunting pix namin ng sunset.
Ang mga ivhomers (ako, si Nic, si Leng and si Ate Rachel) ay tumigil sa gitna ng beach, at kumanta ng mga worship songs habang lumulubog ang araw.

I sing the mighty power of God that made the mountains rise
Who spread the flowing seas abroad and made the lofty skies.
I sing the wisdom that ordained the sun to rule the day
The moon shines full at his command and all the stars obey.

You are Lord of creation and Lord of my life
Lord of the land and the sea
You are Lord of the heavens before there was time
Lord of all lords you will be
We bow down and we worship you Lord
We bow down and we worship you Lord
We bow down and we worship you Lord
Lord of all lords you will be.

And we ended with Great is the Faithfulness.. :) iv kami eh. hehe

Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me.
Happy birthday indeed.

quarter of a century and one

2009-03-01T15:37:00.000+08:00

Happy ang birthday ko nung February 27, 2009. I turned a quarter of a century and one. Ok lang. I still feel the same. Still feel like a 12-year old. haha. :) And still think like one, some would say. Hahahaha. At yan na po ang itsura ko ngayon. Hindi naman kamukha nung edad diba. Wala nang kokontra.

I went on duty at Sta. Barbara Sanitarium that morning. We had a shifting party. Binati ako ng mga taga-don ng happy birthday at salamat daw sa pagkain kahit hindi naman ako ung nagprepare... si tito philip po ang nagprovide ng food namin at lunch. thanks tito phil! and then we had dessert at Carlitos' pauwi. And then nag-adventure na kaming mga ivhomers. :)

Ate Rachel, Nic, Kiko, Leng, and I went to Capiz to Pebbles's house dahil debut nya ang February 28. Napakalayo ng Capiz. We left here at a little past 5 and we got there a lot after 8. Hehe. :) Syempre gutom na gutom kami pagdating namin. At naghanda ang kanilang pamilya ng crabs, tahong, coconut, bangus, and talaba. Grabe. Busog. Happy birthday talaga. Salamat Pebbles sa pagpapaunlak sa amin. After namin kumain ng madami... at ang dami talga naming nakain.... sabi ng sister ni Pebs, meron pa daw, at kung kaya pa ba daw... at ang sagot ng housemate ko na si Leng ay: "Oo, kaya pa. As in." Hahahahahaha! Hagalpak kami ng tawa. At kaya pa nga nya. :)

Then birthday na ni pebbles... so sya naman ung bida until nakatulog kami.

Kinabukasan, Feb 28, dumiretso kami sa Boracay. :) Nag-stay kami sa Faith Village sa Station 3 at naligo kami sa Station 1. Mautak. Hahaha. Masaya. At effective ang SPF 30 na sunblock dahil hindi ako nangitim kahit naitan ako ng husto. Yey.

Then March 1 ay bumalik na ulit kami ng Iloilo. Kaya pagod nako. :)

Thank you sa lahat ng nagpadama ng pagmamahal nung birthday ko. I am blessed. I thank God for your lives. *yakaptight*

random stuff ulit

2009-02-22T12:51:00.000+08:00

ate camper ging is here in iloilo. she's back at the ivhome for a week. usap. tawa. iyak. kain. tulad ng dati. nakaka-bless.

Birthday ni Nanay ko today. i love you nanay! She's 61 and does not look it. o wonderful genes! :)

we'll be taking the last of our compre exams on tuesday and wednesday. and then the waiting starts. and hopefully... God-willing... we get to graduate.

got connected with Daniel, one of my bestfriends since elementary. this was how a part of our conversation went:
Me: is this number still yours?
Sya: Yap. Postpone po kasal ko... mahabang istorya. Haha bili ka ng sun sim para matawagan kita.
Me: Pagiisipan ko. Malapit nako maggrad pero wala pa kong art galing sayo.
Sya: Naku. 30pesos lang pinagiisipan pa. Hay naku. Haha, oo nga wala ka pang artwork na galing sakin. gusto mo ng nude painting ko? Ako din model.
Hahahahahah! Miss ko ang mga friends ko sa manila ngayon. hahaha. priceless.

Yesterday was ladies night/gents night at the ivhome. nakakatuwa. nakaka-bless. nakaka-remind.

i realized i'm happy here in iloilo. and that the four years i was here was filled with joy and love. and grace. and life. and that i will miss it.

i am thankful for 4 years. it was wonderful.

Lord, please let me graduate this April....

some things i learned about myself during internship

2009-02-19T13:49:00.000+08:00

> i hate not being able to take a bath the next morning after being on duty for 24 hours. It's the worst part of being an FD.
> when i feel like i can't take anymore... feeling ko lang pala yon. dahil i still have more to give pala.
> i enjoy suturing. people. :) but i do not like surgery.
> i hate drunks. vehemently. and with all my being. they're the worst patients you can have.
> i find it hard to be sorry for intoxicated patients. i need a double measure of grace when dealing with them.
> i may not like kids, but i can oftentimes get them to allow me to examine them.
> the sound of a child crying sets my teeth on edge. i probably will not be a pediatrician.
> i do not like dealing with folks of pedia patients. i probably will not be a pediatrician.
> i am a night person. truly.
> 37 hours without sleep is the most i can go and still be functional. and i can manage again after 2-4 hours of sleep.
> i can go to sleep in under 5 minutes. talent ito.
> i can manage to sleep in whatever position. talent din ito.
> i can live on adrenaline for only so long.
> i'd rather sleep than eat. and i'd rather starve than prepare my own food. but when called upon, i can make a garden salad or pasta or cook pancit canton. i just prefer not to.
> i do not enjoy performing an internal examination. i most probably won't be an obstetrician-gynecologist either.
> i snap at people when i'm tired.
> masungit talaga ako.
> i can't study when i'm bangag.
> i enjoyed myself this year. but i'd rather not go through this again.
> i really want to be a doctor.
> i still want to be a dentist din. still. :)
> i can learn when i set my mind and heart on it.
> i admire the residents who teach. i admire the residents who are able to teach without making an effort of it more. i admire the residents who teach with their lives most.
> i easily forget.
> i have a really bad memory.
> i need to make more effort to learn and understand.
> people who smoke and drink had their diseases coming to them for a long time. i find it hard to empathize or sympathize with them.
> i still couldn't care less what my hair looks like when i'm on duty.
> when i'm tired and toxic, beware of me.
> i need occasional "break-down moments" to keep my sanity.
> crying helps me get a handle on things.
> laughter can also help me get a handle on things.
> i can go almost 24 hours NPO. hahaha!
> i'd rather care than not be affected.
> i need more grace.
> i need to extend more grace to others.
> friends are important to me.
> what others think matters more to me than i thought. can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing.
> i'd take blood anytime over feces and vomit and pus.
> i don't like pedia in general. but sometimes there are exceptions. but i still probably won't go into pediatrics.
> practice really does help.
> when i'm stressed, i shut down.

sabog

2009-02-14T01:03:00.000+08:00

- kahapon, sabi ng doctor namin may patient daw sya na ayaw magpa-admit at magpa-opera dahil Friday the 13th daw. pambihira.

- today, valentines day. duty ako 24hours. o kay saya.

- di pa ko natutulog since kahapon ng 3pm. at 24hours akong duty mamaya.

- at may reporting kami mamaya after lunch.

- then may exam ako mamaya sa ENT at sa Ophtha....

- then sa Monday at Tuesday ay Compre na ulit.....

- kamusta naman ang katawan ko?

- last day na ng duty sa hospital ngayon. community na kami sa wakas! :)

almost but not quite

2009-02-07T17:38:00.000+08:00

Compre Exams start on Monday.
Haaay.....

Sabi ni Kiko kelangan nya daw ng proper motivation...

I say... i'll take any and all motivation and inspiration i can get... proper man o improper! wahahahhaa......

Ok going back to the books now.

pakibatukan nga ako

2009-01-31T14:13:00.000+08:00

Why is it that when people come to me for advice, i'm able to give it.
But when i need to give myself a talking to, i have nothing to say.
Or siguro mas matigas lang ung ulo ko pag ung sarili ko ang ngsasabi saken kung anong dapat kong gawin.
Like now. I should be studying.
Feb 9 na bala ang exam namon!
Ay ambotah.

Feb na.
My birthday looms....
Loving it!
I'll be quarter of a century and one! Bring it on! :)

schiz, inlab at tsokolate

2009-01-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

One: Schizophrenia (or kung sa vernacular ay baliw or buang) is believed to be due to too much dopamine in the brain.

Two: In people who are "in love", scientists have found that there is an increase of dopamine production in the brain.

Three: Eating chocolates also increases dopamine production in the brain.

Conclusions:
One: Nakakabuang ang kumain ng chocolates?
Two: Pag "in love" ka, para ka ring buang. Panalo... Hahaha!
Three: Kumain ka na lng ng chocolates kung gusto mo ma-feel ang ma-"in love". Hahahaha!
Four: Kung Schiz ka, wag ka na kumain ng chocolates dahil baka lumala ka pa?
Five: Ang mga inlab, laging binibigyan ng tsokolate, kaya lalong nagiging irrational ang behavior dahil lalo silang nabubuang...

Ano pa? Hahaha....

there's this camp

2009-01-26T14:11:00.000+08:00

There's this camp I want to attend on April 4-10, 2009. It will be held in Puerto Galera, Mindoro.
It's called ECHOcamp.

I was the first and only paying camper during the first EchoCamp in Galera in the summer of 2003. 2003 nga ba yon? Sa Echo, I learned to sleep in a hammock between trees, under the stars and the sky. That was where i first climbed a coconut tree... and the first time i scaled a rock face. I learned to ride a mountain bike down a slope. It was in Echo that I gave my desire to be a doctor to the Lord. And he purified it, and he blessed it.

That was so many years ago. And ngayon, I heard that there's going to be another Echo in Galera during the Holy Week. I want to go.... because i'm about to become a doctor na... And there's a symmetry to my starting and ending my medschool life with Echo....

Pray for me, will you? I really want to go.... And encounter the Lord again while hanging between sea and sky, in and on the water, and even when watching the tide come in.

Kahit di na ko mag-grad ball ok lang.... Gusto ko mag-echo camp... :)

a taste of the psych ward

2009-01-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

Haaay... i'm now rotating at the Psych Department. We'll be here for two weeks. We started nung January 16 and we'll be here until the 31st. Gudlak naman saken diba! Enjoy sya, in a really weird way. If you don't let their stories get to you. But it's also sad in a way, because you hear so many stories... and you wish you could help more....

So here's a taste of the Psych Department here in West Vi Med Center:

"....."
"ikaw, kamusta matyag mo doc?"
"doc, kanami sang dimples mo ah"
"do you want a kiss?"
"do you know the world without love?"
"hadlok ka no? basi nahadlok ka lang."
"i love you"
"good morning/good afternoon/goodnight doc"
"indi pa man alas diyes doc, aga pa man"
"oo doc, matulog na ko. babye"
"pano magkapareho ang apple at ang orange? ang isa apple... ang isa orange!"
"wala ka lang guid kahulat... dali man lang to"
"pangayo pa chocolates"
"mapuli nako"
"doc, san-o pa ko di mapuli man? gainom man ko sang mga bulong ko"
"you promised me a ring, a watch and eyeglasses. now i still don't have a ring, a watch and no eyeglasses."
"do you want a ring?"
"kagwapa man sa imo doc. daw espanyol ka... ang sa mga telenovela bala..."
"this is the worst hospital! you are the worst interns! she is the worst resident! what kind of service is this?! this is the worst!"
"may migo ka na doc?"
"depressed ako.... siguro kung may miga na ko indi na ko ma-depress noh?"
"doc, may sex appeal ba ko?"
"i'm not finished talking to you! look at me! i'm still talking to you!!!"
"mga bastos!"

Nakakatuwa... nakakatakot.... kakaiba sila lahat. :)

counting blessings in 2008

2009-01-20T15:01:00.000+08:00

... new year in davao...
... been with family...
... attended Edren's debut...
... been there at the elbi FebFair...
... caught my 4am flight to iloilo, didn't get mugged on the way and got kind drivers and passengers sa bus and jeep...
... visited with auntie presing while she was still strong...
... passed my 3rd year in medschool better than expected...
... became a clerk/junior intern....
... never went hungry...
... got funds for new uniforms, shoes and scrubs...
... had enough for my every need...
... stayed healthy...
... turned a quarter of a century old...
... received an elbi album in the mail...
... got a boxful of books...
... rare finds in BookSale...
... dates with friends...
... good, restful sleep...
... scholarship for my internship year...
... attended the iv alumni homecoming in diliman...
... visited by esvees during duty days...
... dinner at Afrique's with esvees...
... Guimaras getaways...
... beautiful sunsets...
... friends to share Guimaras getaways with...
... wonderful moon moments...
... texts from friends and family...
... had the chance to say goodbye to auntie presing...
... went away with K and Gedi and the gang at Mambukal...
... met the KC2k8 elbi delegates in KC...
... talked sense with el presidinti...
... assisted at surgeries...
... learned to stitch skin, muscle and subQ...
... helped save lives...
... helped deliver a baby...
... had many opportunities to help someone be more comfortable...
... seen a newborn open its eyes...
... held one...
... seen love in a mother's eyes...
... no one in my immediate family became critically ill...
... moments with Mayk at SM...
... moments with ate KC and Mayk at WVMC...
... moments with Kitot...
... moments with K...
... tita bing moments...
... seeing alison again...
... got hugs...
... had many opportunities to sing...
... survived internship for 9 months...
... interviewed "sister" for KC...
... met with high school friends and inaanak...
... strengthening old friendships...
... enjoyable company....
... deepening new friendships...
... finding God in unexpected places...
... a new day everyday...
... new strength to go on despite fatigue...
... reminders when i forget...
... a loving hand to pick me up when i fall...
... shoulders to cry on, real or virtual...
... brothers...
... grafted-into-the-family sisters and brothers...
... hindi ako maubusan ng blessings na maisip pero wala nakong oras...
:)))

thank you Lord. your blessings are new every morning. blessed be your Name always.

sakit sa ulo

2009-01-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

minsan, mali lang talaga ang timing...

at madalas, hindi mo lang talaga alam...

at sa mga ganitong panahon, kelangan ko ng wisdom ng mga ate at kuya... dahil hindi ko nga alam...

panahon nanaman para sa soul-searching... sa heart-searching... sa Word-searching. watching and praying and listening... and another laying down of the will to accept the will of the Father...

lagi...lagi, kelangan ko talaga and Panginoon... lagi...

2009

2009-01-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

what i hope to happen or expect to happen this year... :)

graduate from medschool... God-willing....
turn a quarter of a century and one....
get to have three stripes on my toga... hihihi
live in manila again for at least a year...
get to see open heart surgeries...
visit palawan...
visit bohol....
visit corrigedor....
do an appendectomy...
visit Disneyland???? waahahahahaha
learn to insert a chest tube or cvp line
visit sagada...
learn to play the piano again...
lose even more sleep...
get ultra stressed...
lose weight...
go on dates with my favorite guys: harrison, jawetz, robbins, nelson, schwartz, netter...
learn to use makeup...
learn to prepare a decent meal...
have a clearer direction in life...
hunger for the Word...
sing more...
write...
rekindle the passion...
regain my perspective...
be reminded...
count the cost, pick up my cross and obey...
keep the faith...
heed the call...

ang buwan

2009-01-10T15:28:00.000+08:00

Today daw is the biggest Full Moon of 2009. :) Kase the moon is at it's perigee today.
I'm glad i'm not on duty so i get to see the moon. Wheeee!
It's really big and round. And very bright.
Sayang i didn't get to watch the moonrise.

Thank you Lord for the moon.
Ang galing mo talagang artist Lord!
Amazing ka!
:)

happy feet. :) (thanks to eena)

2009-01-06T15:44:00.000+08:00

Still so many beautiful places to go to!!! waaaaaah... Exciting pa madiscover ang Pilipinas. Sama tayo, roadtrip! K..... ang plan natin sa graduation ha. :) Let's go to Dumaguete na rin. And I still haven't been to see Bohol. Grrrrr.... And Palawan! Sara!!!! Sa summer... :)))

My Lakbayan grade is C+!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

episode

2009-01-02T16:56:00.000+08:00

I had a mini-break down on the last day of the year 2008. Hihi...

Nakaupo lang ako sa Pedia Ward, gumagawa ng papers ko. Bumalik lang ako kahit hindi ko Duty dahil magshi-shift out na kami the next day so i had to endorse my patients and do the admitting notes nung mga di ko pa nagawan.... anyway, i was just sitting there, listening to music, talking to manong tons nung naiyak na lang ako. I felt so bereft. Ewan ko kung bakit un ang feeling ko... basta.... ganun... at iyak ako ng iyak... for about 15 minutes ba yun? Basta.... natapos lang din naman sya. Tapos paiyak-iyak na lng ng konti everytime someone talks to me. Basta, ambigat ng feeling ko during those few minutes. Sabi ko na e, papakunsulta nako sa mga Residents namin when i rotate in Psych in two weeks. Haha. :)

Last time this happened was in Manila nung November, sa bahay nila Thea. Pero sila Mariel lang ung nakapansin kase nasa gilid lang ako nun. Naiyak lang ako dahil pagod na pagod nako at di ko alam kung bat ako umiiyak. Siguro nga dahil pagod lang ako.

student-budget-friendly grad gift ideas

2009-01-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

Dahil sabi ni Weng gumawa daw ako. :)

1. Dangling earrings. Not the circular ones kase bilog na ung mukha ko so di na bagay ang bilog din. Hehe. I lost my wooden outline-of-butterflies na dangling earrings.... waaaaah.....

2. Chokers. Simple lang na pendant. the thinner the choker string, the better.

3. Books.

4. Silver earrings na hindi dangling.

5. Original VCD.
Choose from these, hehe: 27 Dresses; Italian Job; Oceans 11, 12 and 13; Enchanted; Ella Enchanted; Alvin and the Chipmunks; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Serendipity; Rescuers Down Under; Hunchback of Notre Dame; Beauty and the Beast; Tarzan; 13 Going On 30; Freaky Friday; The Color Purple; Scent of a Woman; Finding Neverland; Pirates of the Caribbean; Horton Hears a Who; Take the Lead; Ever After; or ask me na lng kung meron nako nung gusto nyong mapanood ko. :)

6. anything with cats on it. Hehe.

7. piano piece ng Somewhere in Time. Kahit photocopy lang.

8. Multicolored ankle socks.

9. Lollipops.

10. A picture or drawing/painting of the moon. Or kahit anong view. Or bagay na may butterflies. Or tubig.

MAraming Salamat!

early graduation gift ideas

2008-12-29T12:03:00.000+08:00

the night before Christmas

2008-12-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

t'was the night before christmas, when all through the ward
all the interns were stirring, but there was no mouse.
the suction catheters were hung by the suction machine with care,
in hopes that all the endotracheal tubes soon would be clear.

some children were nestled, all snug, in their beds
while some of the kids had fever in their heads
four Mama's ambubagging and three interns monitoring
had just settled their bodies for a night without a nap.

When from the last bed on the third row there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the second row of beds to see what was the matter
towards the frantic mom and child i flew like a flash
took out my stethoscope, listened, and then made a dash.

The stethoscope was brought to the breast of the child
while we tried to take the BP and pulses above and below
when, what to our wondering ears should befall
not a heartbeat was pounding, not a pulse could be known

Our residents were there, so lively, so brisk
and i knew in a moment, we had to intubate quick
more rapid than eagles, the other interns came
and we shouted and ordered and called for things in turn:

"Now bag mask! Now O2!
Now hypervetilate and lower the head!
On suction! on pulse oximeter!
On And on check for pulse.
intubate patient now and suction again.
start chest compressions!
Push one amp epinephrine!"

as dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
the nurses and interns were working and everybody tried
to try to get the heart beating though we knew
that the night was going to end badly and there was nothing more to do.

So our resident went to the folks to explain the truth
that the child was no longer breathing and her heart had stopped too.
as i lowered my head and was turning around
i could hear the mother keening, it was a lonely sound.

The child was covered with a sheet from the head to her foot
and her body was cleared of all wires and tubes
the folks were all bent with sorrow heavy on their backs
and they looked so forlorn, they could not have their daughter back.

Their eyes -- how they twinked with tears running forth!
Their cheeks were like roses -- how grief brought them nought!
They gritted their teeth, and held tight to each other
and the voices they lifted were harsh and grief-laden
unbelief in their faces, unbelief in their eyes
gave them the picture of animals in fright

we spoke not a word, but went back to our work
all silent with our own thoughts, trying not to be a jerk
not trying to think that tonight of all nights
a daughter expired, a sister, a child.

So forgive me if i did not greet you that night
We were so toxic, we were so tired.
But i hope you had a meaningful Christmas, just as we did
And would always remember, life is precious, you are blessed.
Be thankful you are alive and with family, though gifts may be scarce
We have already received the Gift beyond price.
And so i returned to the manger that night,
Remembered that the Christ-child didn't even have a room as his right
He lived and he gave and He died for us all
So we need not despair when Death comes to call.
We just have to believe and accept Him, that's all.

I really hope you all had a happy Christmas and a good night. :)

post Twilight

2008-12-19T17:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, let me just say that I've seen the movie.... and I've just finished reading Books One and Two of the Saga. I'm now starting Book Three. And Book Four is definitely next. My friends have ebooks kase and i'm reading them sa laptop ng roommate ko when she isn't doing her thesis or ng mga classmates ko since my laptop is still out of commission. Hehe.

One, it is true that the book is better than the movie. Infinitely more so. No surprise there. Two, I'm sure i won't rest easy until i finish the Saga. And three, I am very entertained by the story. i think i have a taste for vampire/werewolf stories. Hehe.. (Kaya siguro enjoy din ako sa Underworld at Van Helsing.)

At gusto ko lang din sabihin at magreklamo na ang mahal na ng sine dito sa Iloilo! It's now Ninety pesos and fifty cents! Pareho na ang price ng taas at baba so kahit saan ka na pwede umupo. Pero hello! Dati sixty pesos lang un.... grrrrr...... Owel.... at least di kasing mahal ng jan sa Manila. :p

The movie was so-so. Ok lang. If you like romantic movies, and i'm a sucker for romantic movies, ok lang sya. Not really wonderful but ok lang. Tama yung sabi ni Pb, if you watch it, then ok lang, if you don't watch it, then ok lang din. I guess i'm wishing i didn't spend ninety pesos for it. Sana nanood na lng ako sa DVD. I wouldn't miss anything if i didn't get to watch it in the big screen. *sigh* Andaming times na di ko gets ung sinasabi nila kase parang kinakain nila yung words. And yes, i like the book lines better than the script. I watched it one and a half times kase i came in just when Bella and Edward were at the forest and Edward was showing her his vampire abilities so i got a chance to listen better nung umulit na sya. :)

The views were breathtaking though. Really really wonderful! (Bianca, you live in a place like that?! Oh joy! Waaaah.... Don't stop taking pictures ha. I do enjoy them so much.) But I wouldn't want to live in such a rainy place. Nyikes. Magkaka-seasonal affective disorder siguro ako kung ganun. Hahaha...

But the technical parts of the movie wasn't my problem at all.

The thing that remained in me as i was leaving SM was the thought that there are some loves that you shouldn't fight for at all. They should just be let go of. And don't tell me hindi pwede pigilan yon. Yeah right, been there, done that. Painful yes, but not impossible. What are the implications of a human and vampire relationship? According to the author nga sa book 4, they don't even have the same chromosome number (ok so I cheated and skimmed through book 4 na..).

And then I got to thinking what this movie is telling our youth. To fight until death for "forbidden loves"? Beyond reason, without regard for anybody else basta nagmamahalan kayo, ok lang? "Might as well break all the rules since they're going to hell anyway"? Ano ba naman klaseng pag-iisip yon? Parang puro 'I don't care' ata ang narinig ko dun sa isang part ng movie. Ibig sabihin ba pag 'na in-love' ka wala ka nang pake sa iisipin ng iba? Or wala ka nang pake kung tama ba yun or mali? Because there is a right and wrong to loving, no matter how you look at it. It is always a choice, after all, and choices can be made intelligently and one can choose to do the right thing. Granted that the right thing might not be the easiest or the most pleasant but one should still strive to do what's right diba?

One tito once reminded my that there are only a few questions in life you really had to answer well. One is who will you follow or trust or believe in, two is whom will you spend your life with here on earth, and three is what are you going to do with that life while you're on this earth. To my mind, everything hinges on how you answer question One. If you have made a decision regarding that one question, the other two will follow. If Question One is no issue, as the movie certainly portrays, then pake nga naman ni Bella and Edward diba. But if it was an issue, then they have a big problem. At may problem nga ako sa mga decisions nila.

At gagamitin na ni Nic ang laptop nya.... so susunod na lng ulit....

before Twilight

2008-12-17T13:45:00.000+08:00

In a few minutes, i'm off to SM Iloilo to watch Twilight. Oo, hanggang ngayon e hindi ko pa sya napapanood dahil una, wala akong panahon nung mga nakaraang mga araw, at pangalawa, hindi ako familiar sa libro na yun kaya hindi ko pinipilit na panoorin ito.

Kahapon, at sa mga nakaraang mga araw, andami kong naririnig na mga balita na maganda daw ang movie na Twilight. Lalo na kahapon, ung mga college students na nag-christmas party dito sa bahay e hibang na hibang sa movie na yon. So na-intriga ako. Tinanong ko si Ebony (isang graduate din na ivcf dito) kung maganda ba talaga ang Twilight at sabi nya.... "it's so highschool." :) Hahaha... mas lalo tuloy akong na-intriga.

May mga punto na na-raise si Ebony. At may sense yung mga punto nya....

So manonood ako mamaya so i can have my own opinion. :)
Diba yan ang turo satin sa ivcf? maging critical thinkers! ayan.... paalis na kmi ng housemates ko....

later....

clean fun

2008-12-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

Missing Frozti, Nang Jimjim, Ate Ging, Nang Bjo, Yanyan and Naldo. Sana andito din kayo sa Pasko. :) You were missed sa Christmas Party slash Videoke Night ng IVHomers. Ahay.

Ate Rachel gets the Videoke Queen Award for getting 100 na score for 10 songs. Hanep. Ang haba ng hair nya ha! Then Nic gets the Dancing Queen Award for her mahiwagang shoulder dance (video to be posted sometime). Pam gets the Wave Award, Gg the Demure Award and as expected, I get the Kitikiti Award. Si Leng naman ang award nya ay Most Mapagpanggap Award. Owel. If you want to know, ask her na lang. Hehe.

We IVhomers went to Club21 kagabi, December 15, 2008 para mag-Videoke at kumain at mag-exchange gifts. Supposedly, may dress code. Kami nila Nic, Pam and Gg ang sumunod sa dress code. But as always when ivhomers go out, lahat kami e nagmukhang mga "girls".

When we got home, nagpicture-an pa ulit kami, syempre, sa room namin ni Nic. Hehehe. Kasama namin si Nang Limes that night. And one other, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, dahil hindi pa sya pumasa sa standards namin. Hahahahaha! :) Anyway, masaya ang gabi. Paos na paos nako.

Maligayang Pasko!!! :)

esvee alumni in sepia

2008-12-11T08:10:00.000+08:00

The batch of esvees i was with in UPLB. :))) Antagaltagaltagal na naming hindi nagkikita. When before we used to worry about how we'd pass a subject or finish our thesis, now we talk about our work and careers, whatever there is of it. Haha.

Madami nang nagbago: ang iba may anak na, ang iba, may girl/boyfriends na. Ang iba, iba na ang partners, ang iba wala pa rin. May mga tumaba, may mga pumayat. Ang mga amazona dati, girls na ngayon. Hihi.... Yung mga boys... hay... wag na nating sabihin. Hahahaha.

But some things still remain the same. Malakas pa rin kami tumawa, umiyak at kumain. Mahihigpit pa rin ang yakapan. Matindi pa rin magdalanginan. At pambihira pa rin sa puyatan. :)

Most importantly, One Thing has not changed. To paraphrase that which is from The Lord of the Rings: One Lord to rule them all. One Lord to bind them. One Lord to bring them all and in Love bind them. In the Kingdom of God, where no shadows lie. Blessings.

*bighug*

the butterfly

2008-12-05T17:26:00.000+08:00

This is the Butterfly that came in the mail that i told you about a few days ago. Pretty, ain't it?

This now hangs on the wall by my bed, and under it is a stuffed giraffe and a stuffed frog. (Yes, i hate frogs pero i endure this one dahil bigay sya ng ex-roommate ko na si Nang Bjo. Baka kasi ma-offend sya kung hindi ko i-display ung binigay nyang stuffed toys. Hahahaha.) Nilagay ko sya dun dahil pang-pasko ang colors nya at natutuwa ako dahil sa carabao park ito kinuha. Pag tinitingnan ko ang picture na to, feeling ko nasa carabao park din ako. Hehe.

(Itong picture na ito ay si kuha ni Deneb Arriesgado.)

Maligayang Pasko!

tagged by Manang Lara :)

2008-12-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

Here’s how this is done: 1. Re-post the picture/logo on your blog and please acknowledge where it came from. Kindly leave a comment on this post so I would know you’ve posted it.
2. Write down 5 things you are grateful for and the 5 bloggers you are tagging.
3. You may copy this or write your own quote regarding gratitude:
“In everything give thanks." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I am grateful because:
1. I am alive and with relatively good health.
Everyday, i encounter people who are sick and/or dying. I am confronted everyday by man's frailty and by the reality that we are not invincible. I thank the Lord for giving me life everyday and that i do not have any illnesses. I can still stand, walk, talk, eat and enjoy this life that He has given me. Indeed, life is precious and I am grateful that it is God who sustains me everyday. I am grateful that all my five senses are intact and that i can see and appreciate the wonder of his majesty displayed throughout creation.

2. I have a wonderful heritage of faith.
Both sides of my natural family tree, as well as the grafted in part (which is ivcf and the cbc family), are filled with men and women of great faith. They serve as examples for me as I walk along the straight and narrow. I have been mentored and prayed for by countless people and everyone of them has a part in bringing me where i am now. I am grateful that they shine as living testaments to God's sustaining grace and mercy to a lowly pilgrim like me.

3. I am esvee and that i was able to study at elbi.
Once an esvee, always an esvee. Haha, parang ano yan e, "Once a King and Queen of Narnia, always a King and Queen." Dito namulat ang mata ko, dito ako na-nurture, dito ako yumabong. Dito rin ako nabatukan, nayugyog, nabasag, at ibinalik muli. I am grateful that the Lord brought me to that university and this group so that he could meet me on His own terms.

4. The Lord has given me heartfriends and soulfriends kahit napaka-migratory namin.
I am grateful for kindred spirits who allow me to be me and who are themselves when they are around me. Friends who laugh and cry with me for any reason and even for no reason. Friends who pray with me and rejoice with me. I am grateful for I know that if ever the need arises, i have friends who will break the roof so that i can be let down so Jesus could heal me. :)

5. I am grateful because not everyone is given the opportunity or the privilege to be in the healing profession.
I am grateful for this calling. I do not feel worthy of it, and yet I am grateful for the chance to be of service in this capacity. I am grateful for the chance to study, to know more about the human body, to be able to understand even a little of how we function. I am grateful that even though nakakapagod, at least i had this chance. Madaming gusto mag-aral pero hindi makapag-aral. Salamat sa Panginoon at andito ako ngayon.

So, that's my 5 things for now. :) I'm tagging Kitot, Tarits, Em-em, Theia, and Eena. :)
Be joyful always! And in everything give thanks! Blessings be.

See you again, Auntie...

2008-12-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

We, Kit, Deneb and I, visited Auntie last Saturday. We went to their house from the airport because Nanay told me to visit Auntie because she could go home to the Lord anytime. And she did. Just now.

She had Multiple Myeloma, a type of Cancer. Auntie is prepared to die naman, I know, as are we all, and yet, losing her does not take away the grief.

This picture was taken in February this year. She was still strong then and able to converse with me. Last Saturday, she was already bedridden, thin as a wraith, and attached to the oxygen tank 24/7. She didn't recognize me. And she was in constant pain.

She too, i think, was a KC grad. :)

The Lord took her home today.I know she no longer feels pain there. She is strong and able to dance again. She can garden all she wants now and bake to her heart's content. She'll be able to make the craziest quilts there made of gold thread and whatnot.

I will miss you, Auntie. I am saddened that you won't be there on my graduation, or on my wedding. I'll never have the quilt you promised me. I won't be able to eat your cooking on your birthday. I love you. And I will miss you. So much. And yet, I let you go, for I know you are happy now with the Lord. At least ngayon, makikita mo na ulit si Ate Melody diba. Tsaka sila Lolo and Lola. Hintayin nyo na lng po kami jan. Mag-re-reunion po tayo. *yakapngmahigpit*

Until we meet again, I will miss you every day.

smile mo, kita ko

2008-12-02T14:03:00.000+08:00

I see the moon and the moon sees me.
God bless the moon and God bless me. :)

Ang saya saya ng moon last night and tonight. And ako rin. Hehe. (photo ninenok ko kay Alec Macatangay. thankee!)

I wasn't supposed to be out under the sky yesterday dahil On Duty ko sa hospital. But then i had a "girl accident" so i had to go home to change. Buti na lng ang IVHome e katabi lang ng hospital and naka-uwi ako. When i left the hospital building, i looked up, like i always do, and i looked for the moon. Laking gulat ko when i saw the moon and the planets Venus and Jupiter smiling down at me. Ang clear clear ng sky kagabi. Sila lang talaga ung mga dancers in the night sky. And so i did the only thing that came to my mind... I grinned back at them. Hehehe. And of course, nagtext ako sa mga tao. And i returned to the hospital in better spirits.

Naalala ko ung pinoy henyo na nilaro namin sa house nila thea sa segment ko ng triple party. haha. "Bagay?" "Shape?" "Bilog?" "Malapit sa bilog!" "Heart?" Hahahahaha!

At natawa ako kay Tarits dahil late na sya sa balita. :) hehehe. Glad we were able to enjoy the Heavens together again Tarits. :)

And i couldn't help but be amazed at the wonder and glory of the Lord our God displayed all throughout creation. Amazing talaga sya. The Heavens indeed declare His glory and we have no excuse to say that there is no God. Great is the Lord and worthy to be praised, indeed. Indeed.

iloilo people in manila

2008-12-02T13:14:00.000+08:00

I attended the IVCF Alumni Homecoming in Manila on November 29, 2008, 3-7pm.
UP-ISSI Bldg. UP Diliman.
Saturday. I came from the hospital here in Iloilo... Haha, FD ako.

At sila ang nakita ko dun... :) mga taga-Iloilo din.
Thanks to chela for the pix. Ninenok ko che. :)

the mail

2008-11-27T18:00:00.000+08:00

The mail still holds wonderful surprises for me.

Today, i received a Butterfly. :) a wonderful, wonderful butterfly. :)))
You have a gift, Deneb. May you continue to use it for His glory.
Again, i await your first exhibit. :)))
(To see his work, visit this site.)

The butterfly is now mounted on the wall by my bed.
(i'll show off the butterfly here when i get my hands on a cam.)

Thank you for making my day.

But it doesn't compare to seeing you in person. :)

*mahigpit at matagal na yakap*

Blessings be.

hiling at hinaing para sa sabado.

2008-11-24T15:45:00.000+08:00

1. sana makatikim ako ng Mernel's cake. Ayoko ng Krispy Kremes, mababaw lang kaligayahan ko... Mernel's lang, masaya nako. hahaha. Nagpaparinig po sa mga taga-elbi jan!!!! :)

2. Sana makita ko si Dan Bait. pero di na sya Dan Bait ngayon sa rinig ko. Dan Dating Bait na ata sya. Sana magpakita sya sa alumni homecoming.

3. Sana makita ko si Tita Bing. :) i hope she comes or we can come to her. :)

4. Gusto kong makapag-devotions ulit kasama ang mga batchmates ko sa esvee. :) mag-QT together at mag-QT sharing... Thea, pwede ikaw leader? hehe.... Sama na kayo lahat!

5. Sana madaming pictures. Wala akong camera!!!! Pero sana madami tayong pictures sa sabado....

6. magpapicture ako sa mga "powers-that-be" na makikita ko sa sabado... hehe.. parang mga artista sila.. hahanapin ko sila.. sila tita edna, sila manong bel, si tita lisa, at kung sino-sino pa.. hahaha... starstruck daw kung baga... hahaha

7. Gusto ko talaga ng Mernel's cake....

8. I want to be able to laugh and cry my heart out. This i'm sure will happen 100%. :)

di naman ako masyadong excited para sa sabado. di naman masyado. mejo lang. :)))

mga tanong

2008-11-21T16:40:00.000+08:00

some of the questions i've asked or been asked and i will keep asking about life, love and other mysteries.....

"minsan ba, nagsasawa (the ilonggo word for this is 'natak-an') ka na rin mag-duty?"

Everyone i know, myself included, has said yes to this question. it comes. it comes sometimes. and lately, it has come more often.

"may boyfriend ka na ba?"
"bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?"
"kelan ka magkaka-boyfriend?"

and variations of the same thought. i like to answer these questions as creatively as possible. hahahaha! nakakasawa na kase sumagot ng pare-pareho e. ibahin naman natin. haha.

"affected ka pa ba pag may namamatay/or pag may sini-CPR tayo?"

"why am i doing this?"
"for whom am i doing this?"

"why am i here again?"

"bakit ka dito sa West nag-aral?"

"taga-saan ka?"

This i answer depende kung gusto ko pa makipag-usap or hindi na. i answer Manila when i have time to talk. but i answer Davao when i don't. haha.

"kumain ka na ba?" or "kumakain ka pa ba?"

Nanay always asks me this. Expectedly.

"kelan ulit tayo magkikita?"
"kelan ka pupunta dito?"

Yey dahil this week, i can answer differently. :))))

"anong gusto mong specialization?"
"ano balak mong gawin?"
"what next?"

"are you the marrying type or the single type? what do you think ang gusto ni Lord para sa yo?"

"san tayo kakain?"

More often than not, i waive my right to make this decision. Hahaha. i just hate going out and having to decide where to eat.

"san ka magpi-pgi?"

"nag-aral ka na?"

"sa panahon po na hindi na mag-beat ang heart nya, gusto nyo pa rin po ba na mag-CPR kami or magbigay ng mga emergency meds na magpapa-pitik ulit ng heart nya?"
"ituloy pa po ba natin ito or itigil na?"
"sino pong magdedesisyon?"

Some of the hardest questions i have ever asked and i hope i never get to be asked.

"bakit ka naging doktor?"

Sana naging artista na lng ako, mas madali ata sagutin ung tanong na 'bakit ka nag-artista?'. Hahahahaha!

"may philhealth po ba kayo?"

"wala po kaming pera ngayon, ano po ba dito ang kailangan talaga?"
"pwede po bang wag muna bayaran ito?"
Some of the questions that can break your heart, knowing there is nothing you can do about the situation. Everytime i get asked this, my heart aches, and i get angry at our politicians and the powers-that-be in our country that make our people ask these kinds of questions. if they did their jobs well, we wouldn't have to answer these.

"uwi ka ba?"

"enjoy ka naman?"

In my heart, i am. It's just that the spirit is willing but the body is weak. :) oo, enjoy, pero pagod lang talaga.... pagod lang talaga kami palagi...

early christmas treat

2008-11-15T19:43:00.000+08:00

This year, i get an early Christmas treat! Yehey!

I get to go to Manila on November 29 to attend the IVCF Alumni Reunion at UP Diliman!
Thanks to the generosity of one wonderful wonderful person.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you so very very much.
*BIGBIGHUG*
Yehey! Yehey! Yehey!
Oh i do hope many people come.....

See you there. :)
Esvees, i'll be expecting you ha. pambihira....

Yehey, kahit kailangan ko bayaran ang hours na aabsent ako sa hospital... ok lang....
I get to attend sa alumni homecoming ng KC! :)
Wheeee! I'm so excited na talaga!!!!

new sim

2008-11-12T15:56:00.000+08:00

i think i have a new number....
i'm just not so sure....
anlabo noh. :)

hahaha....

anyway.... please introduce yourself when you text so i won't ignore your number or be rude or embarrass myself in any way. i'd be glad to get connected with you again through SMS.

*big smile*

God did not give me an iphone.
But this one works so i'm thankful for it. :)

09083505232 ang new number ko. i think.
i will try to reply if you text. :)
hehe.

God bless you!

surprise, surprise!

2008-11-07T04:39:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha! may wi-fi sa ward! Imagine mo un! :)

So it's 9:30am and i'm monitoring the female medical ward and the med-isol rooms.

Everybody's at the conference still.

Gutom nako. Wala ko naka-breakfast.

Yehey! may Wi-fi!

:)

current rotation

2008-11-03T15:08:00.000+08:00

Nasa Medical Ward na kami.
Ito na talaga...
One of the more toxic departments in the hospital.
Haaaay......
I'm here until sa end ng November.
I think ito rin ang department na pinaka-madaming mortalities.
I think i'll be having more moments of depression dito than anywhere else.
Ayoko mag-process.
Ayoko.
Nakakasakit lang ng puso.
Nakaka-frustrate. Nakaka-inis.
Nakakalungkot masyado.

Bukas, sa MICU ako assigned.

Ice cream tayo... :)

ano ngayon?

2008-10-31T17:54:00.000+08:00

the calendar says it's Halloween today.
so ano ngayon?

my calendar says FD ako ngayon and then tomorrow OD ako.... at sa Medical Ward na ko magdu-duty....
yun pa, may saysay na calendar entry.

happy birthday ate nice! :)

what i'm learning in NICU

2008-10-25T14:40:00.000+08:00

Since October 16 until the 31st, I'm rotating at the NICU or the neonatal intensive care unit. Here we get to take care of the neonates, or the newborns, right after they leave their mommy's tummies. I used to hate this department because unlike other girls i know, i have never been fond of babies. I don't go coochy-coochy-gaga over them. I don't even know how to hold them. I thought (and i still do, but with more humor and less loathing) that newborns are like little worms... all they do is squirm and squirt and scream... hahaha. Now, it's been 10 days since i've been exposed to these little creatures and i'm starting to think that they might not be so bad after all. :)

Before Medicine, i have never held a newborn in my arms. Call it ignorance, fear or loathing or just plain lack of exposure to babies, but i have never willingly, voluntarily held a newborn in my arms just for the sake of holding. A few days ago, i picked up one of my patients because she was crying... I picked her up and sang to her... And then she quieted down... and slept in my arms. And if i was anywhere other than the NICU at that time, I would have burst into tears. That scene has been repeated several times. And each experience leaves me reeling with new feelings that i have yet to make sense of. I guess whatever instincts are in me are being brought to the fore these days.

One thing i know: these babies have wormed their way into my heart. Though i doubt that I'd be leaning towards Pediatrics when the time comes for me to choose. At least i don't fear or loathe the babies now like i used to.

God bless the children. They remind me of how i should be towards my Father in heaven. Dependent, trusting, easily comforted, content just to be held close. Unquestioning, non-judgmental.

God bless the mothers. And God be with those who try to end the lives of the children growing inside them. God have mercy on those who have succeeded in doing so. God bless those who chose not to.

Movie lines quizzes, copied from K...

2008-10-12T20:05:00.000+08:00

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. Looking them up is cheating, please don’t cheat.

1. Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means your heart's too big.

2. Things never happen the same way twice, dear one.

3. You said, uh - You said you hated me, and there was something in there about how the only way you'd ever touch me again was if you came down with leprosy.

4. We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

5. Girl: What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?
Boy: So I can kiss you anytime I want.

6. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

7. I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand, to have someone understand... I want so much more than they've got planned.

8. "Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." But if you want to leave, you can. I'll remember you though. I remember everyone that leaves.

9. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

10. But the things that matter. We've pretended for some time now that you're a part of this family, haven't we? You've come to mean so much to us all that now, it doesn't matter if it's true. And even if it isn't true, even if that can never be... I need to go on pretending... until the end... with you.

11. I thought Tristan would never live to be an old man. I was wrong about that. I was wrong about many things. It was those who loved him most who died young. He was a rock they broke themselves against however much he tried to protect them.

12. Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.

13. There must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean.

14. I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it?

15. In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

OD, FD and OC...

2008-10-12T16:36:00.000+08:00

Ayan, ito ang second part ng medical schooling na laging tinatanong saken and sadyang hindi maintindihan ng nanay ko, among others. Hehe..

4th year in our Medical College is Internship/Clerkship year. This is the year before graduation, where we get to be the fleas in the hospital. We are the lowest creatures in the planet of Health Providing and we do the paper work and scut work needed like getting the xrays, filling up discharge forms, monitoring a patient every hour pag toxic sya and all the menial stuff that Residents don't do. We get to hold the retractors for hours during an operation, and if the Surgeon finds you capable, he may even let you put in a stitch or two. And that is a big IF. Hahaha. As Dr. de los Reyes reminded us last Saturday, we don't have the right yet to practice medicine. Everything we order in the charts stems from the authority given to us by the Residents.

Ang buhay namin as Clerks/Junior Interns ay umiikot lang sa tatlong status: OD, FD at OC.

ON DUTY (OD) - and duty hours mo ay 24 hours. We sign in at 730am of, say, Monday, and we sign out at 730am of Tuesday. You don't really get a lunch break. Or designated sleeping time. IF nothing is happening at the ER or anywhere ka posted, then one of you can take turns eating pero you shouldn't take too long kase nga you're supposed to be always at your post for the entirety of that 24 hours. You can't leave hospital premises for the entire day. Masaya kami pag walang "toxic" na patient (meaning hindi pa sya likely to die in the next 24hours) kase mejo nakakatulog kami sa gabi.

FROM DUTY (FD) - also known as Post Duty. This is the day where you function mainly on auto-pilot. You are officially bangag and you should not get near anything more complicated than a light switch. Hahahaha. Perks: 8 hours na lang ang duty mo. From 730am of one day to 5pm na lang of that same day. And you are the last call in anything. Pero, ito yung day after you were On Duty. So continuing the example kanina na kunyari Monday ka OD, so Tuesday ka na FD. You sign out at 730am diba pero you sign in again immediately at 730am again as FD. So in effect... 32hours kang nasa hospital.... (Gets ba yon?) Pero pag FD ka, you get 12noon to 130pm off. So you get a lunch break where you can get off hospital premises and go home to your dorm and take a much needed bath. Mag-ingat ka lang at wag lumapit muna sa kama dahil instant ang tulog na aabutin mo pag humiga ka at usually di ka makakagising before 130pm. Ang responsibility mo as FD is mostly paperworks (except sa Dept of Surgery kung saan walang kaibahan ang mga status, harhar) kase nga bangag ka na by this time, at pwede kang magtulog-tulog sa wards... Pag nagkataon na may Rounds sa araw na yon... gudlak na lang sayo. Smile and wave ka na lang sa Consultant.

ON CALL (OC) - as the status indicates, you are on call from 730am to 5pm of that same day. So kung Monday ka OD, Tuesday ka FD, then Wednesday ka OC. Supposedly, well rested ka before you came in kase FD ka naman the previous day. On this day, dakila kang alalay ng mga On Duty and everybody else in the hospital. (Although lahat ng interns ay dakilang alalay ng lahat ng tao everyday, pinaka-dakila ka sa lahat sa araw na ito... hahahaha.) Ikaw ang taga-hatid and sundo sa mga patients sa Xray at CT scan or ultrasound. Ikaw taga-hanap ng mga films, taga sulat ng mga IV fluids to follow sa mga charts sa mga floors, taga-sunod ng kahit anong iutos ng mga taong mas malakas ang boses sayo. hehe. After 5pm, uwi ka na at matulog dahil kinabukasan.... On Duty ka na ulit.

So if you can still remember, OD ka ng Monday, FD ka Tuesday, OC ka Wednesday... OD ka nanaman ulit ng Thursday, then FD on Friday, OC on Saturday and so on for the entire 365 days of duty.. Paikot-ikot lang yon, pabalik balik. Walang day off. Pero, pag FD or OC ka on a Sunday or Holiday, ang hours of duty mo ay from 8am to 10am lang. Iiwan nyo na lahat ng On Duty sa hospital after that. So kawawa ka pag Sunday or Holiday ka On Duty.

May mga Departments na hindi OD, FD, OC ang status. Sa NICU, Anesth, and Ortho ay OD, FD lang ang mga status. So ibig sabihin, you go on 32hours straight duty days. For your entire rotation there, every other day ka lang makakauwi ng bahay para maligo... Eeeewww.... Hahaha.... Monday OD then Tuesday FD ka na. Tapos OD ka ulit sa Wednesday, then FD sa Thursday. Ganon lang until matapos ang rotation na yon.

Sa ER naman... OD, FD lang din ang status pero pag FD ka, you're not expected to report at the hospital. It's like a day off. It's the only department with a day off. Pero buong araw ka rin naman tulog on that day. Dito ako from october 1 to 15. I think i already wrote about that previously....

In effect, we go on 32hours straight na duty, then 8hours. Daig pa namin ang call center people sa duty-han. Pero daig nila kami kase may bayad sila, at malaki pa. Haha. Kami, wala. Ang 'privilege' na lang of taking care of a life ang bayad namin. Naks naman! :)

Any other questions? :)

OD, FD and OC...

2008-10-12T16:34:00.000+08:00

medical schooling

2008-10-10T14:26:00.000+08:00

Okay, i get asked so many times that I guess its time I explained some things...

To study medicine, you have to go through a pre-med course. This can be any 4-year college course you may want. I have classmates who are licensed Medical Technologists, two Registered Nurses, one licensed Chemist, several Public Health graduates, one Food Technologist, one MBB graduate, and sandamakmak na Biology grads. Biology seems to be the popular pre-med course, but had i known what Med was really like, I'd have chosen Nursing or MedTech or even Physical Therapy as a pre-med course.

While still in college, you could already take the NMAT. Your score there determines your chances of getting into your medical school of choice. you could take the NMAT any number of times you want so you can get a more competitive score. PGH takes no less than a 90percentile score. some schools take anything above 60.

And then you go into medical school. They also call this medicine proper. It takes 4 years. This is not Residency where you specialize in a Department. It's just medschool. Parang college lang ang set-up. We don't have a PE subject or English subject, though. We have Anatomy, Physiology, Neuroanatomy, Psych, Biochem, Ortho, Pedia, Medicine, Pharmacology, etc... etc...

The first three years of medical school is spent in the school. Simpleng student ka lang na pumapasok sa class, may exams, may teachers, may library, may lunch time, may uwian. Parang nagcollege ka nga lang ulit. But then you eventually reach fourth year and then you become Interns or Clerks. Fully hospital-based na kayo by this time and you become the fleas in the hospital, aka utusan ng mga Residents. (The Residents are those taking "specializations". Like sa Gray's Anatomy, Surgical Residents sila... ganon.)

When you're an Intern/Clerk, wala nang classroom sessions. (Pero may exams pa rin, oral at written.) 365 days ang duty namin. from April 1, 2008 to March 31, 2009 ang Internship namin. Walang sembreak yan at walang Christmas break. And well, we didn't get a summer break nung summer either...

We have rotations in the different Departments ng hospital. Sa aming hospital, we go through Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, Surgery/Orthopedics, and OB-Gyne for our majors na ward and OPD and then minors namin ang Psychiatry, Anesthesiology, EENT and Community. Ako, i've already finished one month in Surgery Ward, one and a month months in OB-Gyne Ward, and two weeks in Ortho. Tapos ko na rin ang three months ko sa OPD through the 4 major departments. Ngayon, sa ER ako, Medicine and Pedia, and then NICU for 2 weeks. After that is one month each at the Medicine and Pediatrics Wards. Sa January 1, we start with ENT, Psych, Anesthesia, and then Community rotation na kami until Graduation. Ayon. We take a Comprehensive Exam by February, which we have to pass before we can graduate.

After graduation, we go into Post-Graduate Internship. Dito, di na kami estudyante na may grades and all sa isang school. We apply at a hospital and then magpapa-alila kami doon ng walang bayad. Walang sweldo. Hindi pa rin ito specialization. This is just the interim (one year) before we can take the Board Exam. Requirement ito before you can take the Board. And then if you finish your PGI (kung saan ako ay nag-apply sa DOH Integration Program na sana matanggap ako) ay kukuha na kami ng Board Exam.

And then if you pass the Boards, you can now enter into a Residency Training Program which is what they call 'specialization' and this is entirely up to you. Di na to requirement. If you don't want further training you can already practice Medicine as a General Practitioner.

But if you want to, you can train as a Resident in a hospital in the Departments of Pedia, Internal Med, Surgery, Psych, OB-Gyne, or Family Med. Dito, may sweldo ka na. Ang hospital ang magse-sweldo sa yo. Depende kung ano department mo sa haba ng training. Surgery takes 5 more years, IM is 3 years i think, Pedia is 4, OB is 4 din. And then kung mejo masipag ka talaga, pwede ka pa magsub-specialize. Take Internal Medicine for example. You can specialize in Cardio, Pulmo, Neuro, Endoc, or sa kung saang parte ng katawan ang type mo. Meron din yang mga exams syempre, at specialty boards. At syempre, added years of study yon. Haha. If you want, you can go forever just studying medicine. :)

Sa ngayon, i'm just an Intern. Next year PGI. And then the Boards. Beyond that, I can't see yet. Hehe...

LCDC memories

2008-10-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

Because it's now LCDC season... :)

I attended only 3 LCDCs. LCDC 2k2, Against the Flow, I was in 3rd year college and i went as camper. LCDC 2k4, Christstruck, I was a counselor. And then LCDC 2k5, my first LCDC outside of Manila, I led a group in a BS Workshop. "Nakakasira ng buhay" talaga ang mga camps na yan. Hahaha. Diba? Diba? Hehe. Kung hindi siguro ako nag-attend ng mga LCDC, or EchoCamp or KC, malamang artista na ko ngayon. Hahaha!

I can no longer remember my campmates but I can still remember what the Lord impressed upon my heart at those camps. And I can vividly recall certain moments and certain people... Hala, produkto pala talaga ako ng mga ivcf camps... and those camps have provided me with hope and strength in my walk.

I went to LCDC 2k2 with lots and lots of baggages. And I left light and free. :) I can't say that it was the camp where i resigned to God's prodding my heart to become a doctor because that happened in another camp... haha. But LCDC 2k2 was the camp when my brother, Jade, and I became friends. At least that's how I think of it. We've always been siblings, but in LCDC, that relationship gained meaning for me. I also learned to tell him I loved him and the rest of the family. I can recall the two of us praying together for each other and for nanay and tatay and manong jaja and him hugging me after. While hugging, I told him, "Manong, gusto ko talaga maging doktor...", and he told me he was proud of me. :) To God be the glory.

I didn't get to be counselor during my KC year, 2003, because I was holed up in elbi doing my thesis. I was out collecting blood from the severed arteries in the necks of the poor ducks while my KCmates were teaching other college students how to study the Word. Haha.

And there was LCDC 2k4, when the Lord asked me to let go of Medicine, and I did. And He gave it back to me in full, with extras. Blessed be the name of the Lord. I was a GT then in elbi and a Sunday school teacher at church. Haha, i dragged my churchmates to this camp kicking and screaming, and i'm soo soo glad i did. When I look at where they are now and how their relationship with the Lord is, my heart gets so full fit to bursting with gladness that the Lord is so gracious in their lives. Praise Him indeed.

LCDC2k5 was disorienting for many reasons. It was my first and only camp here in West Visayas. Nag-lead lang ako ng BS Workshop group. My dad was the expositor. We were speaking in Ilonggo. It was a camp special to me because I got to be with my KCmates from the Region and it felt like i was on vacation and having a week-long KC reunion. Haha. And it was the camp na nananahimik ako sa isang tabi nang pinag-pray ako ng isang staff that the Lord would honor my desire for Mission work. Nakakapanindig-balahibo.

Like i said before, nakakasira ng buhay yang mga camps na yan ng ivcf. Haha. *wink*

Blessings be to all the would-be delegates of the LCDCs around the Philippines. May the Lord speak to your hearts and shatter your spirits.

Be ready to run with the horses. :)

across the miles

2008-10-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

Lord, thank you for the internet. And thank you for esvee. A million million times thank you for friends. Thank you for this family.

I friend and I was talking through YM. I got a hug. And i could feel it physically. As in. Pati ako nagulat. Naiyak ako.

I guess i'm so frayed at the edges now. I just didn't realize how much. Oo okay pa naman ako. Pero barely. Haha. So brittle that it takes so little to shatter me these days.... Stress ba ito? Or kulang lang talga ako sa yakap dito? I guess kulang nga ako sa yakap dito. At maulan kase. At magpapasko na. At stressful lang talaga ang napili kong buhay. Sana pala nag-artista na lng ako?! *laughs*

Erich Segal said in his book Doctors said that doctors distance themselves from their patients and don't care so much not because we lack compassion but for self-preservation. If we cared for all our patients we'd all break from the strain. Or go nuts with load. I guess i know what he means. And i didn't know how close to breaking i was until i got hugged by a friend. Even if that hug was sent (or should i say 'said') through the internet. Ang powerful nga naman ng mga salita noh?

But then if we didn't care, what kind of physicians would we be? I guess it's only prudent to not make the patient's problems our own but it is also not wise to be unfeeling in treating. That would take the heart of this supposedly caring profession.

I guess i just wanted to say that i really appreciate the hugs you send. I feel them. Physically. I do. And i thank you so much for sending them. It keeps me sane.

So thank you.
Sa yakap.
*yakaptight*

October duty

2008-10-06T15:18:00.000+08:00

This month, October, nag-shift na kami. Tapos na kami sa OPD, which was from July to September. Ngayong October, I'll be staying two weeks at the ER, one week each for Pedia and Medicine, and then two weeks at the Neonatal ICU.

This two weeks at the ER is an every-other-day duty. Meaning we go on duty for 24hours, that's 730am to 730am the next day... and then we are off duty for 24 hours naman. So every other day we get no sleep, and every other day we don't wake up. Hahahaha. Today, From Duty na ako... I got home at about 8am... slept after eating breakfast... and woke up at about 4pm..... Where has the day gone? Hahaha. And tomorrow, duty nanaman. Yun lang naman ang cycle ko until the 15th.

Sa 16 we go to the NICU na. There, we go on 32hour shifts.... First we go On Duty for 24 hours and kami ang in charge of every little baby who makes its way into the world that day sa kung ano mang paraan. Hehe. And after that we're From Duty but we can't leave the hospital until 5pm kase kami naman ang in charge sa mga discharging and taking care of all the neonates outside the ICU.

We don't get a sem break. And we don't get a Christmas break either. So don't ask na lng what I'll be doing come sem break coz you're just breaking my heart sa inggit. Haha. Nanay keeps asking when I'll be flying over for Christmas vacation when i've been telling her since April when we started internship that we won't get to have a Christmas break! haaaay.....

Anyway...

Happy birthday to Daniel... my best seatmate ever! and to Alison.... :) Happy birthday Al!
*bighugs to all*

note to self: learn to speak in tagalog again

2008-10-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

I realized lately that my tagalog is now a mess. It's pretty pathetic to listen to. And i hate it. Grrrrr.....

I had a patient last night who was speaking in Tagalog and i said, "E kelan pa po ba kayo nagsimulang gumamit nyang mga bulong nyo?" hahahahah. I could not catch myself in time. Natawa na lng ako at inulit ko na lng ung sentence. Tumama nako the second time. Wahahahaha. Ampangeeet!!!

Tapos nag-explain ako.... "Ito pong reseta ko, mga gamit ito para matakdan natin sya ng linya... ng dextrose... ah.... lalagyan po natin sya ng linya para po.... ah..... ma-transfuse-an natin sya ng dugo.... (aside: ano ba tagalog ng "transfuse"?) tapos kelangan po naka-oxygen sya ngayon kase mababa na po ung hemoglobin nya. Bulig.... er... tulong lang po ito sa kanya....." Wahahahahahaha! Nakaka-pilipit ng dila pala mag-tagalog ulit. Ang all that said in a distinctly Ilongga cadence... yak. Yak! di nako marunong magsalita ng tagalog!! Grrrrr.....

Paano nila nalaman na Ilongga ako? sa paglakad ko ba?

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!

phoneless - again

2008-09-28T13:54:00.000+08:00

Today, i woke up with a surprise awaiting me..... nawawala ang cellphone ko! I left it by the table at my bedside to charge.... at paggising ko nung umaga ay wala na sya. Andun pa yung charger, so nahiya ata ung nagnakaw, pero ung fone ko wala na. Ang saya tlga ng buhay.

I was sleeping in the IVHome guest room last night. And I don't lock doors pero i close them naman. The IVHome guest room is on the first floor by the stairs. Sabi ni Ate Rachel kung nagkataon daw na nag-lock ako ng door, baka umakyat pa yung magnanakaw sa taas. Owel. At least sabi ni Leng hindi daw ako napag-tripan nung magnanakaw.

Grrrrrr....... naiinis ako dun sa magnanakaw. Nangengelam sya ng di nya naman gamit. Naiinis ako! But i guess he needed it more than i did if he was driven to such desperate measures. Kanya na yon! Bahala sya. Papalitan na lng yun ni Lord. Haaaay.... Kelan, Lord? kelan po? Salamat na lng in advance.... :)

Ako yata ay lapitin ng mga cellphone magnanakaw. Pero hindi ako nananakawan sa labas ng bahay. At di ko rin naiiwan ang phone ko sa mga taxi. Three times na ako nanakawan ng phone sa loob ng bahay! waaaaah....... At laging sa room pa! pambihira. Kung naiiwan ko ung phone ko sa taas ng refrigerator walang nagkaka-interest. Pero pag nasa loob pa talaga ng room ko andaming interesado. Mejo lang ha! Ang effort! Haaay nako.

a conversation

2008-09-21T17:38:00.000+08:00

I reconnected with a dear friend sa YM. we got to talking. And inevitably, our conversation arrived at these questions which, i think, get to be asked more often as we advance in years. And she was the third person to ask me the same question in one hour. Hay nako. Ewan.

hahaha... share ko lng.

mine kulit: hahaha
mine kulit: ayaw mo pa magpakasal?
mine kulit: hehehe
mariel: puwedeng ibang tanong? hehehe
mariel: ikaw?
mariel: hahahahaha
mariel: hmmmm. wala pa sa isip ko yan. hehehe
mine kulit: hahahahaha
mine kulit: gusto ko magpakasal pag mga 29 na ko
mine kulit: hahaha
mariel: hahaha. kaw?
mine kulit: wala pa ko boyfriend
mariel: ilang taon ka na ba tint?
mine kulit: wala rin akong kilala pa na potential boyps
mine kulit: bahala si lord
mine kulit: hehe
mine kulit: 25
mariel: ok lang yun.
mariel: uhum siya bahala.
mariel: exciting ano..hehe
mine kulit: haha, some days its exciting, some days it's just frustrating wondering
mine kulit: hahaha
mariel: nasan na kaya siya?
mariel: darating pa ba siya?
mariel: hahahaha
mariel: haaayyy
mine kulit: hahahahah
mariel: hehehehehe
mariel: mga tanong na ewan
mariel: hahahaha
mariel: ok lang namang magtanong db?
mariel: hehehe

hahaha. ok lng naman magtanong diba?
haaay... i miss conversations like this. i miss sv. miss kita mariel! *hug* it was a blessing to talk with you again. love you!

on the other side part1

2008-09-18T17:23:00.000+08:00

i feel like bursting right now.... actually, i've already cried thrice in the past hour. i can't help it. i just can't. tears just seem to jump from my eyes at the littlest things..... i've just gone through what it is like to be the 'folks' (that's what we call everyone around the patient. hehe). and it's not nice. it's not pretty. buti sana kung alam ko na makakauwi ng maayos at malakas ang pasyente ko at the end of, say, 3 days. sana kung acute gastroenteritis o kaya acute tonsillopharyngitis lang ang sakit nya... kahit sabihin pa nating dengue.... mejo ok pa e.... pero when you know its the big C, mahirap. it's hard not to feel sad, not to feel helpless, to question why. why them? why now? why not someone else i don't know? why not someone who's less good? waaaaaaaaaaaaah.......

i know, i know. i've read Lewis's The Problem of Pain as well as Yancey's Where is God When It Hurts and i have heard all anyone can say regarding God's plans and his goodness and sovereignty and all but it doesn't stop me from breaking down and crying or feeling sad when i learn that someone i know has the big C and that it could be metastatic. haaaay. even if they're not relatives, they're still family. it hurts to see them in pain. and i hurt because they hurt. ang hirap.

kanina i also realized that our hospital is not 'folks-friendly'. andaming pasikot-sikot, pa-ikot-ikot. buti na lng at taga-hospital ako so alam ko kung anong gagawin ko, sino pupuntahan ko, saan ko hahanapin ung kelangan ko. e pano ung ibang mga folks. they have to deal with all the high-falutin things the nurses, the residents and the interns are throwing at them aside from the emotional upheaval that having a sick loved one brings them. dagdagan mo pa ng nakakahilong set-up ng hospital kung saan ang layo ng cashier, xray, lab, ecg at kung ano ano pa jan..... e nakakaloka nga naman tlga. idagdag mo pa na hindi ka magagalaw kung wala kang pera.... no wonder so many folks get mad at us, the interns, e litong-lito na siguro sila.

nahihilo na ko..... FD pa ko..... maka-iyak na lng muna at makatulog.....

ciao....

going bulilit

2008-08-31T16:01:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, pedia na rotation ko. Pedia OPD...

Panalangin nyo ko.... kids are not the easiest patients to have. And the mothers are the harderst people to deal with when in the hospital. Waaaaah... Patience and grace. Please Lord give me patience and let me extend grace.

Ngayon pa lng stressed nako sa thought na mag-iinsert ako ng mga IV sa mga maliliit na ugat at makakarinig ng walang humpay na iyak at tili ng mga maliliit na mga bata kasama na ang masusungit na mga nanay na feeling nila pinag-pa-praktisan mo lng ang mga anak nila. Waaaah... Sabi nga ng classmate ko, pag nagreklamo daw ung nanay na ilang ulit na kami nag-try na mag-insert ng line sa anak nya, sabihin ko daw: "O sige, ikaw na nga lang maglagay nito!" Hahaha.

5 months nako intern! Waaaah....
-Ber na bukas. :)
Merry Christmas po!
:)

wandering feet

2008-08-31T15:52:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt restless? Does the road call for you? Do you feel the itch to move your feet knowing that your current position just isn't where you're supposed to be for the next minute?

My family has never stayed more than five years in one place. I guess it goes with my parents' jobs. Well yes, it was hard at first, but then i got used to it. And then i even looked forward to moving again. Ngayon, i feel restless when i've stayed in one place for too long. Like 4 years here in Iloilo in the same house and room. Nakakabaliw.

Panahon na para gumalaw ulit. Next year. :)

Lord, lead me and i will follow. I will not move unless you go before me.

Excited nako!

decision-making time

2008-08-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

A few hours ago, i was sitting once again in one of the seats in Roxas Hall along with my batchmates. We were there, excused from duty at the hospital, to be "wooed" or informed by several representatives from different hospitals (who were graduates of West din) here in Iloilo and Bacolod regarding their Post-Graduate Internship programs. We were also given application forms to fill in and a list of all the possible hospitals we could apply in. Accompanying these documents is a small slip of paper containing our GWA for the past 3 years and our class rank. *gulp*

The Lord has a very skewed sense of humor. He's really amazing! Hahaha. :)

Anyway, i left the room with only one thing sure.... well at least about 95% sure... and that is that I'll be applying for the DOH Integration program at East Avenue Medical Center, National Kidney Institute, the Heart Center and Children's Hospital. So that's my first choice as of press time today. The next 95% decided thing is that i won't apply at PGH since i really don't think i'll survive Taft Avenue or the workload at PGH. E dito pa nga lng sa West e naiiyak nako sa pagod ko, don pa! Ayoko na! The next two choices for a hospital are... well.... i guess i might call them wild cards. I don't know yet san ako mag-aapply. I might put down Baguio General Hospital just to put down something else for my last hospital of choice. I don't know..... Aaaaarghhh... All i know is that next year, I want to be in Luzon again. Even for just next year na lng ulit....

So anyway, here i am, sweating over decisions i have to make. Again.

I called my parents of course. Yesterday. I asked them about where i could go for PGI-ship. And as expected, they will make me decide for my own where to apply. Like they did when i was choosing a course in College. And choosing to go into Medicine and deciding on a school to go to. I should have known they won't tell me what to do. Only that I go where the Lord wants me to be.

And that's the crux. I don't know for sure yet where that is. And I have two days to listen for the answer. Please pray with me that i be sensitive to hear where God's call is. And that i would be faster still to obey.

For His ways are higher than my ways. And His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Amen.

dear Lord...

2008-08-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

Lord, i really need another laptop. Nag-retire na po ang luma kong laptop.... *sigh*

And i know that my God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory.
Lord, ikaw may alam ng needs ko.
Help me to wait for your time na sagutin mo ang prayer kong ito.

Thank you Lord in advance. I love you.

---------------------------------------

Samahan nyo akong ipagpray ang magkaron ng bagong laptop. :)
Salamat!

a blessing

2008-08-17T16:33:00.000+08:00

I looked up and saw the full moon tonight. It was breathtaking.

And once again i remembered. I thank God for all the dear people who share the wonder of God's creation with me. God bless you. May He always keep you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace.

The Lord hold you in his hand until we meet again.

*yakap*

dahil may spaghetti

2008-07-29T18:37:00.000+08:00

We had spaghetti at the ivhome tonight.
And Garlic bread by Nang Dindin.
I came home early because i knew we'd have a house meeting.
For a long time wala kaming house meeting.
Excited ako umuwi dahil favorite ko ang spaghetti.
Di nga ako kumain ng merienda dahil alam kong may food pagdating ko sa bahay.
Ate Rachel cooked for us girls. :)
Hooray for spaghetti!
We were once again gathered around the oval table to laugh, and talk and pray.
Ate Ging, I missed you. *hug*
Nang Bjo, waay taka na-miss. :p
JD came. He ate. He washed the dishes. Hooray! Hehehe.
Pinagtawanan namin si Nic.
Kinantyawan namin si Leng.
Wala nang pwede i-intriga kay Nang Dindin kase married na sya.
Pinag-usapan namin ang mga bagay-bagay.
At kami ay nanalangin.
Humabol pa si Tantan.
Pinag-pray din namin sya.
Hooray for spaghetti for bringing us together!
And hooray for the oval table that bears witness to all our praises and prayers through the years.
:D
Masarap maging ivhomer. :D
At masarap ang spaghetti ni ate rachel.
Hehe. :)

love song for my savior

2008-07-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

After a long time, I was once again able to walk in the rain. I remembered how I used to cherish moments with the Lord while walking in the rain when i was a student in elbi. I remembered and I was glad. The God I served in elbi is the same God who sustains me here in Iloilo. He has never failed me. He will never fail me. Praise be to the God of Heaven!

***

Jesus put a song in my heart
He turned my life around
He gave me a treasure
The heart of a servant
Jesus put a song in my heart
A joyful melody that sings of his wonderful love.

***

Gusto ko na maging doktor ulit! Hahaha... I mean, excited na ulit ako maging doktor. Once again, the Lord has put his heart in me, gave me a song, and now I'm in love again! Thank you Lord.

This past month has been a challenge. Every morning was a struggle to go to the hospital, to go on duty, to face the drudgery of being an intern. I guess i got tired and lost sight of Him who brought me here. I was reminded yesterday, at the Area Assembly, of the need of pressing on, of continuing, of being faithful to the One who has always been faithful to me. Sa Iyang Katutom, Padayon. (In his faithfulness, press on. - I think yan ang translation.hehe)

The Lord is God. He made it possible for me to attend that Area Assembly ng iv kahapon because He had something to tell me. He got my attention again, all right. And yes, Lord, I'm listening again. Forgive me for forgetting, for hardening my heart, for not listening. Thank you Kuya Arvin for letting the Lord use you. Thank you Lord.

My home is in the Lord. He is my portion. He is my refuge. He is my reason. He alone.
Let me not forget Lord. Let me see you in everything. Let my life be a testimony of your grace, mercy and love. Let me be you to my patients, co-interns and to my residents. Let me be yours again. Here am I Lord, once again, use me. My past, my present and my future is yours. I am yours. Thank you Lord for loving me.

***

This is home
Now i'm finally where I belong, where I belong.
Yeah this is home
I'm been searching for a place of my own
Now I've found it
Yeah this is home.

My home is in the Lord. And my true home is not here. I'm only passing through. And I look forward to going home. While I am still getting there, let me be faithful, let me walk the straight and narrow, let me not waver to the right or the left. Walk with me Lord. Lead me. Once again, let me walk with you. Thank you Lord.

buhay OB - babye

2008-07-26T10:48:00.000+08:00

Mukha lng wala kami masyadong ginagawa pero kunwari lang yon.

"Misis, hindi ka mag-bun-a!"
"O misis, bun-a na!"
"Ma'am, wag mo kayo masyado maingay."
"Ayoko na mag-bun-a!"

"Ay, cute-cute ka guid na intern."
"Carry out U/A without fail."
"Monitor FHB q4h."
"Sinong nagtakod sang pay patient sa service na fetal monitor?"

Life at the OB Department is stressful. Anjan ang mga in distress na mommies-to-be na in labor, ang kanilang mga stressed out folks at ang mga stressors na residents. Andami talagang pwedeng magbigay ng stress para sa isang hamak na intern lng tulad namin.

Pero kahit mahirap at pagod, sige, ngisi lang. picture-picture pa rin.

Dahil ilang araw na lang, tapos na kami sa OB. Yehey!

personality type thanks to easter grace sion

2008-07-24T16:19:00.000+08:00

Well it doesn't hurt to know yourself more. Haha.

Based on the typology of psychiatrist C. G. Jung, one can reduce the endless appearing number of human characters down to a few organizing principles. Take the test here to find out your personality type.

Ako, ito daw ako..... so bagay ako sa mga personality types na mejo green ang color code. Take the test to see if jive ba ang ating personalities! Teka, was Carl Jung right about me? Hmmm... let's see....

Spontaneous Idealist (SI)

Spontaneous Idealists are creative, lively and open-minded persons. They are humorous and dispose of a contagious zest for life. Their enthusiasm and sparkling energy inspires others and sweeps them along. They enjoy being together with other people and often have an uncanny intuition for their motivations and potential. Spontaneous Idealists are masters of communication and very amusing and gifted entertainers. Fun and variety are guaranteed when they are around. However, they are sometimes somewhat too impulsive in dealing with others and can hurt people without really meaning to do so, due to their direct and sometimes critical nature.

This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas - they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities.

If you have a Spontaneous Idealist as your friend, you will never be bored; with them, you can enjoy life to the full and celebrate the best parties. At the same time, they are warm, sensitive, attentive and always willing to help. If Spontaneous Idealists have just fallen in love, the sky is full of violins and their new partners are showered with attention and affection. This type then bubbles over with charm, tenderness and imagination. But, unfortunately, it soon becomes boring for them once the novelty has worn off. Boring everyday life in a partnership is not for them so that many Spontaneous Idealists slip from one affair into another. However, should the partner manage to keep their curiosity alive and not let routine and familiarity gain the upper hand, Spontaneous Idealists can be inspiring and loving partners.

Adjectives which describe your type

spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable

These subjects could interest you

literature, art, music, parties, concerts, travel, dancing, eating out, joint pleasure

memoirs of a geisha, venting spleen, and nadia

2008-07-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

Book: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

Yan ang cover ng book na nabili ko sa BookSale for P132.00. *bigsmile*

I also got a copy of Tolkien's "The Hobbit" for 98php. *evenbiggersmile* Yey! complete ko na ang set ng Lord of the Rings + The Hobbit. My very own set, and not my dad's. Yey!

I just love BookSale! *big,bigsmile*

I read Memoirs of a Geisha in between OPD Surgery and ER duty. At last, natapos din. I must say that i like it better than the movie. (I think i always like all book versions than the movie versions anyway.) But the movie was good din naman, it's just that the book gave a broader and richer view of the story than the movie probably because reading a book is more intimate than watching a movie, if you know what i mean. I'm really glad i found it sa booksale.

Today is Saturday and i'm on On Call status so i get the half day off. Tomorrow i go on 24hours duty again. Haaay.... Sunday duty.... haaay...

Last time i went on duty, may mga ilang agaw iksena sa ER who made it hard to be a kind and gentle and understanding doctor. Grrrr...

We had a VA (vehicular accident) patient who had a little too much to drink and who was brought in by her friends (who i must say did not stick around long enough for me to get a history from, and which says a lot about what kind of friends they are... i'm still pissed off). We gave first aid treatment: got her vital signs, which were normal, packed her head wound (she had a punctured wound at the occipital area about the size of a jumbo mongol pencil) and inserted an IV line. we then gave requests for a CBC, urinalysis, skull, cervical, chest and pelvis xrays, a CT scan and an abdominal ultrasound. After namin magawa ang lahat ng ito, wala na kaming ibang pwedeng gawin kundi maghintay until the folks can comply with the labs and diagnostics. I was finishing up writing what little history i got from the patient as she was drunk and could not tell me what happened tlga and i've already done my pe. Stable na ung patient namin. After namin umupo and, as the books would say, started our "watchful waiting", here comes this uncle of the patient who says, "Wag naman kayo umupo-umupo lang jan. Atupagin nyo naman tong pasyente ko. Wala naman kayong ginagawa jan e." Pambihira! That was enough to make my PGI bristle and answer back. Buti na lng nauna ung mga PGI sumagot dahil hindi nako kelangan magsalita pa. Hehe. Pambihira tlga. I wanted to strangle the man! Wala na nman tlgang dapat gawin dun sa patient. If she suddenly seized or vomited blood or screamed in pain then we would be at her bedside before you could say Jack Robinson. Anong gusto nya, paliguan namin pasyente nya?

Please lng, wag mang-toxic. Most often, ang folks ang mas toxic kesa sa mga pasyente (pero sa case na to toxic sila pareho kase makulit din ung pasyente kase nga lasing sya.) We will not leave your patients until they're stable and even then we're not "leaving them alone". Kahit nakaupo kami doesn't mean that we're not doing anything. It was most unfair of that man to claim na hindi namin inatupag ang pasyente nya. Unfair and cruel. Late lng sya dumating. Panget sya. Kainis. Pinalabas namin sya sa ER.

After some time, madami pang bumisita na folks sa patient na yon. At about 1am, she had a visitor who stood by her bedside awhile and then without warning, fell to the floor as if he'd been pole-axed. I saw him fall, then *bang* and there was blood coming out of the back of his head. Pambihirang patis. So we all rushed to the guy, got him on a stretcher, and to my surprise, 40 lng ang cardiac rate nya! Goodluck naman! The normal cardiac rate is 60-100/min and the guy only makes 40 to a minute! So takbo nanaman kami to insert a line. Nung mejo nagka-malay na ung lalaking yon, sya pa may ganang magsabi na, "OK lng ako, pwede tanggalin na tong linya? pwede nako umuwi? Uuwi nako. ok nanaman ako ngayon e" and some other stupid thing about him being fine. Yeah right. Fine. He didn't want to comply with the HGT and xray kase ok nga lng daw sya. Whatever. He kept on and on and on about him being fine until daybreak. He kept calling me (kase ako na lng ang gising), "Nurse, nurse/Miss, miss, magkano ba lahat tong riniseta mo saken? Bakit may pula dito sa tubo ko? Ok lng ba to? pwedeng patanggal na tong linya ko? Kelangan pa ba talagang palitan to (pertaining to the macroset, plain LR and vasocan as we were using hospital supplies and they had to be replaced by the patient)? Pwede bang wag n lng? Pwede na ba ko umuwi?" Nakakainis sya. Agaw iksena masyado. Toxic na pasyente na hindi nman sana toxic. In the end, he went home against medical advice. Bahala sya sa buhay nya.

Haaay....

Yun lng naman kwento ko....

Oh nga pala.... my inaanak, Nadia, is now in Nursery. how wonderful is that? She's going to be great in school, i can tell. Mana sa ninang. bwahahahaha!

shifting out

2008-06-29T07:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the last On Duty day ko sa OB. At tumataginting na dalawa lng ang admissions namin! Yey! Record low yun sa OB. Wahahaha.... Ma-inggit na lng ang walang tulog na interns! hehe.....

Whew! I cannot believe that i survived 1 and a half months of OB! Nyak... Labor watch and deliveries... Raspa... TAHBSO.... Hay... hindi ko linya yan.... At least i know na what field i WILL NOT specialize in. Hehe. Hindi ko lng talaga type ang OB-GYN. (Sorry, ate doc connie... di ko talaga sya type...)

There are about 20 babies who have my signature on their birth certificates. :) It was an honor to assist/attend in bringing them out into the world. I hope those babies grow up knowing the fear of the Lord and that they will become good Filipino citizens. God bless them.

Tomorrow, i'm On Call... Magluluto ako ng carbonara para sa shifting party namin at 7pm sa OB Office. I haven't cooked carbonara in a long time na. Bahala sila kung ano magiging lasa nung pasta namin bukas. Ewan. Magpre-prepare din daw ung mga classmates ko ng ibang food. Bongga ang send-off namin sa OB kase we can't wait to leave it behind! Hehehe... quiet lang kayo sa mga residents namin... Hihihihi....

Sa Tuesday, OPD na kami! i think we start out sa OPD Surgery. Di ko pa alam sked namin....

Today... From Duty ang status ko, so until 10am lang ako nasa hospital. i get the day off na. Hooray for Sabbath!

after the storm...

2008-06-23T17:40:00.000+08:00

... was devastation and mud.

Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ng karamihan na ang Iloilo ay dinaanan ni "Frank". Two days ago, the storm came in all its fury, without warning, without mercy. First came the winds, and then the rains, and then the floods. And after all of these have passed, there was devastation and mud.

Last Saturday, i woke up at 6am and prepared to go on duty. As i left the house, mejo may konting baha na sa street namin pero hanggang ankles pa lng siguro. The rain wasn't very strong, kaya pa. Nakapasok pa kami lahat sa duty. That afternoon, the rains and the winds picked up. Wala kaming kamu-ang-muang sa hospital kase kami may koryente, may tubig, at madami kaming ginagawa. Pero nung pauwi na kami, malakas na talaga ung ulan and we have been receiving news the entire day that all over Iloilo there have been floods and roads were being closed as the dam from somewhere was opened or may nag-leak (di ko sure). Some of our classmates' homes were already under water and two of our classmates last send a message that they were on the roofs of their houses. Basta sure ako na blackout din sa buong iloilo because the whole day naka-generator lang ung hospital. Anyway, at about 630pm, uuwi na dapat ako when the doctors tried to dissuade me from going home kase nga baha na. I reasoned out that katabi lng naman ng hospital ung house namin so i was going to go home since i go on 24hours duty the next day and i had to get home to sleep and prepare for that.

Anyway, hindi ako nakinig so matatanda so i went home. As i left the hospital grounds, lumusong ako sa baha na nagmistulang chocolate river na hanngang singit ko ang lalim. I arrived at the ivhome (my house) basang-basa and hanggang tuhod ang tubig sa loob ng bahay. The water was up to the second step of the stairs. The fridge was on the second floor landing at binuhat sya ng tatlo kong housemates na girls! That's adrenaline for you! Hehe. So un, ang buong street ay baha, at ang bahay ay baha. We had no electricity, my housemates had not had anything to eat since lunch, and we had no drinking water as well as tap water kase electric pump ang nagbibigay ng tubig sa bahay namin.

The next day, duty ko sa hospital. Buti na lng ay humupa na ang baha at tumigil na rin ang ulan. But everywhere, there was a chocolate coating. Sa loob ng bahay, sa street, sa mga sasakyan... putik everywhere. When I got to the hospital we heard the reports (kase wala din kaming radio sa ivhome). We had doctors whose houses were under water. Madami sa kanila ang wala nang natira sa mga gamit, mga books and kailangan talagang mag-start from scratch. A number of our friends got stranded at SM and had to sleep the night there. Sa sahig na lng daw sila natulog. Ang iba naming classmates may mga sugat-sugat and had to receive prophylaxis for leptospirosis and tetanus. An iv student lost her family (they live in antique). Madaming mga patients sa hospital that Sunday. Most lost their homes, their families, their cows, their livelihood, their everything. Madaming nakatapak sa mga broken glass, mga nails, nabagsakan ng kung ano-ano. May mga kotse sa parking lot na nabagsakan ng mga branches ng puno... may mga puno din na na-uproot.

Grabe.... grabe ang pagdaan ng bagyo. Hindi naka-prepare ang mga tao. And until now, most are still trying to recover what they can from the wreckage. But most will not be able to recover anything.

Thank you for all those who remembered to ask me how we are. Thank you for praying. We're fine here sa ivhome. I haven't been able to answer kase busy... Nag-short circuit lng ung isang line namin so walang koryente sa first floor na house and sa room ni Nang Dindin... We also have to clean the house pa kase the entire first floor is chocolate coated. Other than that, we're ok. Please continue to pray for all the others who were greatly affected by the storm. Iloilo was really devastated. Marami kaming kilala na wala nang mga bahay, wala nang mga damit na tuyo, wala nang mga damit talaga, wala nang mga gamit, no books, no household stuff, nothing. Pray for the Lord's provision and pray that they will turn to the Lord because of or in spite of, this.

of Narnia and me

2008-06-15T01:56:00.000+08:00

Spoiler: I watched Prince Caspian a few days ago and i didn't like how they made up a love story for Susan and Caspian and how they made Peter look like a power hungry has-been king. grrrr... aside from that, ok lng. Liked The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe better though. Kahit sa books, i like Prince Caspian least naman talaga. I'm excited for the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Oh i hope they do justice to it....

I always feel sad whenever i get to the part where Aslan talks to Peter and Susan that they won't be coming back to Narnia again. (I think that's what made me not want to grow up. I didn't want to be banned from Narnia... Tama, i think reading the chronicles started my not wanting to grow up. Ayan, that's what comes from reading books. Haha.) And ang pinaka-sad is when Susan 'lets go' of Narnia. But that comes much later into the series... but still we get a glimpse of it sa Prince Caspian pa lng, well, at least sa movie, kase sa books mejo sa Last Battle mo na lng malalaman un.

I've always loved Narnia. When i was much younger and lived at the IV Building, i used to expect to encounter a portal to Narnia whenever i opened one of the rooms there. (Andami ngang doors sa ivbuilding noh..!) Lalo na ung door sa library. I used to walk by and open the door just to see if iba ung makikita ko sa loob. :) I also had a wardrobe when we lived there. Ang saya. I used to expect a bayabas dryad to come out. Haha. Takot ko lng kung may bigla ngang magpakita e noh! Hahahaha.

Sa book, I like the part where Lucy goes off into the woods and tries to wake the trees. Yung feeling nya na konti na lng sana at magiging buhay ulit ung mga trees... if only she knew the words and had the power to wake them. Sa Magician's Nephew gusto ko rin ung part na yon, when Aslan said: "Narnia, narnia, narnia, Awake! Be walking trees, be talking beasts, be divine waters." It's like having a picture of how the 'breath of life' was given to man.

I wonder when they'll do The Magician's Nephew?

lost ako

2008-06-12T17:39:00.000+08:00

i learned just now that a dear friend has been married for a year now and about to become a father! wow! congratulations talaga kuya charles! :) blessings to the family. and i hope i get to meet ate vinnie one of these days. :)

i feel so lost being here in iloilo... grrrrr.....

sino pang nagpakasal na or about to have families?!?! waaaaahhh... i feel so old.....

Tagged by Karen

2008-06-12T17:22:00.000+08:00

Share 8 things that your readers don’t know about you.

Then at the end you tag 8 other bloggers to keep the fun going.

– Each blogger must post these rules first.

– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

– At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. – Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Share 8 weird things/gross things that your readers don’t know about you.

– Each blogger must post these rules first.

– Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

– Bloggers who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their six things and post these rules.

– At the end of your blog, you need to choose six people to get tagged and list their names.

– Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Well, i'm not much for rules in blogging... so i'll not follow all those rules above to the letter ha... sorry karen! hehehe.

8 things my readers don't know about me that are weird:
1. i cry a lot in the bathroom for no reason.
2. i have about 10 items of clothing that are PINK. of course i seldom wear them.
3. i sometimes wish i took up theater arts in college and not biology.
4. I'm a sucker for love stories.
5. i've eaten frogs.
6. i watch sad movies so i can have a reason to cry. (compare with #1, mejo weird sya noh)
7. to de-stress, i go to the mall and try out outrageous outfits especially dresses, lalo na ung mga tipong hinding hindi ko susuotin normally
8. i own make-up. i don't use it, but yes, i have it.

8 gross things about me:
Why would i blog about that????? Hehehe :)

Tagged by Alison

2008-06-12T16:59:00.000+08:00

1. I love ice cream and chocolate. When I was in college i used to eat a pint of ice cream whenever i had a bad exam... especially ung zoo113. Cloud 9 ang kinakain ko before every exam. :) power bar kung baga. hehe
2. Cats are soooooo cute... lalo na when they're asleep. But i don't like cleaning up after them. My favorite cat is Tigger. Hihihihi
3. I wish i was in elbi right now. Yun ang pinaka-favorite place ko dito sa pinas. :)
4. Tomorrow, I go on Duty. Somehow I'm excited to assist in deliveries, pero given a choice... i'd rather not. Finish ko na required number of Attends ko. Yey!
5. I'm sleepy pero ayoko pa matulog. Just for the heck of staying up late when I want to.
6. I'm wondering when I'll be able to finish all my studies and if I'll do well in my field. Why ever did i take up medicine again???? hehehe
7. I love taking long walks. I wish there was a place here in iloilo where i can take a long walk peacefully and sana scenic naman ung lugar. Kanina i walked from SM to my house.
8. Antagal na since I last took a picture of myself.
9. I wonder when I'll be able to go on a vacation again. I miss being on vacation.
10. I miss sleeping until i get a headache for too much sleep. Haha! Now I sleep at about 1 or 2 am when i'm not on duty, and i get up at 6am. boo.

I won't be following the rules because the effort of hunting up 10 people and posting on their sites is just too much.... :) So whoever wants to.... do. :) But karen jane siruelo... i'm tagging you. Hehe.

Hindi pala mahirap magsulat ng 10 random facts/habits. Hehe. Alison, kelangan ba na weird?

THE RULES

1. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
2. Bloggers tagged need to write on their on blog about their ten things and post the rules.
3. At the end of your blog you need to choose ten people you're going to tag and list their names.
4. Do not forget to comment on their site that they are tagged.

paramdam

2008-06-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

I've forgotten how to blog. Haha.

Today I saw a bunch of second year medical students about the hospital. They were wearing black shoes... which I kinda miss. And they were wearing this lost looks.... which i definitely don't miss but I find myself wearing anyways, like or not. And they looked fresh and excited... which I hope i still look like three months into internship.

I was surprised to see them. I forgot that the school year has opened.

Andami ko nang nakalimutan ngayon. Pero andami ko na ring bagong nalalaman.

Nga pala, nakapag-deliver na ako ng babies. :) They're so cute, they're like big worms. Hahaha. No, i still do not like babies in general. But I am ninang to one na... i named her. hehe. Claire Danes ang name nya... hehe. La lng.... And ilang beses nako napakain ng mga pasyente ko. Hehe. Buot ko mo. (Mabait kase ako) Haha.

yey! congratulations!

2008-05-10T18:33:00.000+08:00

It's my Nanay and Tatay's 32nd Wedding Anniversary today.
Praise God!
Thank you Lord.

dosk9s

2008-04-18T17:23:00.000+08:00

I miss my batchmates. My dosk9 world in the hospital has shrunk to about 11 poeple na lang. I get to see and talk and laugh with my groupmates sa Surge and the Anesthesia people dahil kami naman ang magkakasama sa OR. Hmm... sige, isama na natin sa count ung mga OB people sa regular ko nakikita... kase dun ko kinukuha ung food ko sa kanila so i see them evey so often, pero it shouldn't count kase di naman kami nakakapag-kwentuhan masyado.... Ok, so my world has shrunk to about 20 poeple. Waaaah.. We haven't eaten together since we entered the hospital! Pambihira. Last April 16 ay nadagdagan ang mundo ko ng 8 na tao pala, pero nabawasan din ng 8 people. Nag-shift na kse ng rotations. Pero i'm still in Surge kase 1 month straight ako dito before shifting to another department. I'm actually happy to see JP these days. For real happy. Which is saying a lot. Hehe. Peace, JP! Hehe. I just love "meeting" my classmates along the halls of the hospital. Parang antagal-tagal na naming di nagkikita... di ko na alam ang mga balita sa kanila. Nami-miss ko na batchmates ko. Imagine that! hehe.

Which is why kanina was a special treat. I got to meet my other classmates... Sila Loribee, Adrian and PB. (Te, lantawa manong andre, i'm actually happy to have seen bimbo again! I must really miss my classmates....) Feels good to sing with the choir again. We sang the invocation and lupang hinirang at the Montogs' graduation kanina. Naks. Docs na sila. Kami naman, next year. God-willing. *grin*

Eist, dosk9s... .buhay pa ba kayo?

Pag-pray nyo pala ang isa naming batchmate, si Israel Reyes aka i-i (panganay na anak ni former Mayor Jordan Reyes ng Polomolok to the IV people...). He was admitted this morning because he was passing out blood (hematochezia to the med ppl and tumatae ng blood sa masa). Bumaba ung BP nya and he was white as a sheet when he was admitted. He was transfused kanina. Let's pray for him ha. Thanks!

still alive and kicking

2008-04-18T15:59:00.000+08:00

18 days na kami into internship. whooohooo!!! To quote Charles Dickens, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." :))) May gulay... payat nako. No kidding at walang exaggeration. PAYAT na ako! hahahaha!

See, it took me 18 days to log in again! Hehe.

Being in the hospital is so different from just sitting in the classroom and studying about diseases. In the classrooms, we operate as in a utopian society where the patients can afford all the laboratory tests we could think of as well as all the medicines we should be giving them. Requesting for a CT scan was no issue. We encounter patients in the SGDs in 2D and we don't have to worry about the folks or the nurses or the other patients. Even if our 'cases' died, we didn't think much of it because they had no names and faces. We had aircons then, we ate on time, and we sat most of the time. In the hospital, everything is so.... well.... not the same. In the hospital, everything is alive, dynamic and unpredictable. Forget about eating on time because surgeries can go from 30 minutes to 6 hours. Goodbye lunch break tlga kung nagkataon. And goodbye chair. Haha. Oh my poor feet! But hey, i get the most wonderful cardio work-out there. Haha. Maglakad tayo all about the hospital and up and down stairs. Kung di ma-tone ang muscles mo ewan ko na lng! Hehe. :)

In the hospital, things happen in 3D... 4D even. And things can go wrong so fast. Some patients can't afford to buy antibiotics, some can't even get Nescafe caps for their colostomy. Wounds smell, operations are bloody, and yes, people "expire". One minute they're ok, next minute they're losing blood by the liter and the next instant, they've "expired". And what's markedly different from the SGD cases are that my patients now have names, faces and histories. I've met them, joked with them, touched them. Since now I'm in the Surgery Department, I've even watched while some of them are being operated on. They are not just 'cases' anymore. They are people. And it's never easy to lose any of them.

Anyway, i just dropped by to let everyone know that i'm still alive. I've lost some kilograms but i'm still ok. My hair is longer now. It can be made into a ponytail na. I still don't brush it regularly, haha, asa pa ko na mag-change un. :) I miss my bed. And my feet hurt a lot these days, but it's ok. I think i'll get varicose veins soon. Hehe. I'm enjoying myself immensely and it's just wonderful to be part of this calling. It's always a joy to talk with patients. To see them smile, to have them leave the hospital looking and feeling better than they did when they came. It's been 18 days now since I first entered the hospital as a clinical clerk/intern/4th year student. Madaming learnings and madaming unlearnings. 12 days pa ako dito sa Surgery, then i shift to Ortho. Then it's OB time come May 16.

Happy birthday naman sa mga magbi-birthday! :)

prayer wiorks

2008-03-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

YEY! I found my 1x1 pictures na!!! *bigbigsmile*
Thank you Lord for answering such a petty prayer!
Thank you! :)

Prayer works.

Tutulog nako.
For real.
TTFN!
Ta-ta for now!

on the brink

2008-03-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

Why is it that you can't find what you are looking for when you absolutely need them and yet when you're not looking for them you see them everywhere! Waaaaaaaaahhh... I can't find my 1x1 pictures!!! Naiinis nako. I need them at 630am! Grrrrrr......

Owel.... anyway.... na-pack ko na ang bags ko. Yes, bags. Andami kong dala! Haha. I feel like I'm going to camp. Anyway, i'm going to leave most of it in my locker at the hospital naman. Ito na to.... totoo na nga tlga. We're supposed to be at the Surgical Ward at 630am mamaya. Gulatan na lng kung sino groupmates and kung sino On Duty. Wahahaha.....

I'll be in "Surge" for a month.We go on 24 hours 'On Duty', then 8 hours of 'From Duty' the next day, and then another 8 hours 'On Call' the day after next. (Bale, 32hours straight ung OD and FD.) Then balik sa simula na 24hours duty ulit. :) Pabalik-balik na ganun until matapos ang 365 days.

Uy, KC pre-camp starts tomorrow na pala. In case I don't get to visit.... *bighug* to CHARA, MIGS and ANDRO. I'll be praying for you everytime I think of you. I hope you enjoy KC to the hilt and listen to what the Lord will tell you there and you may have the courage to do His will when you leave. *mahigpit na yakap ulit* Also, WAGAN!!!! *bighug* miss na po kita. You're also remembered.

Kelan kaya ako makaka-blog ulit? Bukas kaya? O sa isang bukas pa? In case surgery duty swamps me and the next time I can go online is next month..... gusto ko lng mabati ng

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

sila Narissa na kinakapatid kong napaka-ganda (April 1),
Trisha na classmate ko naman (sa April 2),
si Claudio na Biogang sa elbi at PGH clerk na ngayon (April 6),
ang maganda kong cousin na si Hannah (April 9),
si Nang Lara na lagi akong tinatawanan, hehe (April 10),
and si kitot na pinapagalitan ako dati pag di ako nag-aaral (April 11).
*mahigpit na yakap sa inyo*

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
~Traditional Gaelic Blessing~

preps for tomorrow

2008-03-31T06:21:00.000+08:00

Isang tulog na lng..... Bukas na talaga.. ito na to..... and my first rotation is SURGERY. *bigsmile* yey! I hope after a month ganyan pa rin ako kasaya na nasa surgery ako.

I've been trying to "prepare" for Clerkship/Junior Internship these past few days. I've cleaned my closet, changed my sheets, fixed my room, made a calendar.... At kasama dun e ang pag-iisip kung ano ang mga "kelangan" ko sa hospital. So I made some lists of things to put in "kits" which will go into my bag come tomorrow.

Doctor Kit
penlight
reflex hammer
diagnostic kit (at ayon sa mga maangas na doctors e dapat WelchAllyn. yabang!)
sphygmo
thermometers (haaay... siguro at least 2...)
ruler
neuro kit (for cranial nerves testing)
tape measure
tourniquet
stethoscope (and in my first list i actually forgot this! *toink!)

Clerk Kit
retractable pens na black and red (kelangan retractable para madali gamitin)
pencils and erasers
post its
note pad
notebook
baby notes
scissors
glue
masking tape
stapler

And of course, for sheer survival... I think I'll need this (which would be a monumental first for me. haha!)

Kikay Kit
off lotion
soap/facial wash
toothpaste
toothbrush
comb/hairbrush
lotion
tissue
alcohol
tali sa buhok
lip gloss (yes, i know, nagulat din nga ako!)
oil control film (blows the mind noh, hehe)

Comfort stuff
water bottle
pillow
lunch box
Tiggoy??? (hahahahaha! only when I'm really sad siguro... haha)
non-med related book (only a thin one....)

Duty 'haves'
scrub suit
slippers for OR
socks for OR
cap and mask
Schwartz' (not our pet cat ha... the textbook!)

May mga nakalimutan pa ba ako????

So can you imagine the size of my bag tomorrow? I'd look like I'm going to camp! (Incidentally, the Kawayan Camp pre-camp will start tomorrow din...) Hehehe

today's highlight

2008-03-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

K came to town for a family affair and we met (for less than 30minutes) sa SM Iloilo.
Seeing her again is like coming up for air. Haaay.... Thank you Lord for sweet 'surprise' blessings.
Si K ay batchmate ko nga pala sa SV... pareho kaming Lumos. Yay!
*bighug*
(Yes, Deneb, I got your hug too. Thank you so much!)

home stretch

2008-03-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

Thursday, March 27, 2008.
Hokey... so last day na of compre exams:
> Medicine
> Pharmacology
> Surgery/EENT
> OB-GYNE

We enroll today.... dapat.
And then tomorrrow ay orientation na namin for Clerkship = 4th year medstudents na kami! :) Praise God!

Oh, and before he gets much older,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN MICHAEL SADIA!!!
(nung March 25)

exams galore.

2008-03-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

Day 2 of Compre Exams tomorrow.
> Micro/Parasitology
> Pathology
> Pediatrics
> Community Medicine.

Lord, have mercy!

p.s. The stars are wonderful tonight. :))))

just stuff

2008-03-24T19:28:00.000+08:00

Panawagan: Does anybody know a certain DAN HELA? Sya po ung boy jan sa picture. *points up* Kung kilala nyo sya, may I have any of his contact information? Salamat! He's been MIA for too long. Kainis. Hmph.
...

Today birthday ni Manong Pipoy, ni housemate Nic, ni neighbor Ramboy and ni Kuya Alvin. :) wheeeee! Happy Birthday!
...

Ok so tomorrrow we enroll for our fourth year of medical school. And we also have our Comprehensive Exam. Tomorrow is Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry and Medical Jurisprudence. Wear complete uniform daw. Grrrrr....

...

Today din, our past-tense cat, Rain, came back! wheee! So present-tense cat na ulit namin sya. :) Yay! He's older now... and a lot bigger than before.
...

The moon is not so full now. But it's still beautiful. :) And yay! we still have clear skies!
...

Unearthed pictures by my cousin Bianca (center) of us as flower girls with cousin Hannah in Uncle Rudy and Auntie Donna's wedding. :) Sad lang kase we haven't been together for more than 10 years na. Haaay.... ...

Masaya ung movie na 'Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who.' Panoorin nyo. :D

the cat is back

2008-03-24T15:01:00.000+08:00

but not in a hat. :)
Everyone, meet Rain. :)

He was made to leave by our "headwoman" Ate Ging mga last sem siguro kase he was scenting the entire home with eau de feline. hehe. But now he's back! I'd know him anywhere! He's back! He's back! And I was like, "Rain, ikaw na? Rain! Ikaw guid na! Ikaw guid! Welcome back!" wheeeeeee!!!! *bigbigsmile* hooray for cats!

huling linggo

2008-03-23T16:15:00.000+08:00

Isang linggo na lang!!!!

sa madlang IVCF

2008-03-23T11:18:00.000+08:00

*Wedding Bells playing*
Need I say more? ^_____^

a really good Friday

2008-03-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

Death by Crucifixion (from Solis, Legal Medicine, p.451) - When a person is nailed on a cross the weight is supported by the nailed feet. In order to breathe, the person has to raise his body and then throw his weight on his feet. When on the cross, the intercostal muscles are stretched and the chest cage is fixed. The alternative raising and lowering of the body lead to exhaustion, unconsciousness and death from asphyxia. Because of the difficulty of the chest movement, this type of death may be classified as traumatic asphyxia.

And that's what happened to Jesus. It was a painful and slow way of dying, and a shameful one to boot. Yes, he suffered. Yes, he was in pain. And that speaks of how much he loved us. He endured the cross because of man. Because of you. And me. But Jesus wasn't killed on the cross by the Jews and the Romans. He gave up his life there. To fulfill the prophecies. To save us all. It was a voluntary act performed in obedience to the Father. He offered himself in our place. He died. For the Jews and the Romans. For you. And for me. Because He loves. He loves you. And me. And because He gave His life, we live. If. we. believe.

It was not a defeated Jesus who was on the cross that day. And neither did the celebrations occur only on the Sunday following. Jesus was already a victor while his hands still held the nails. The fight was over and Jesus had won before he even reached the tomb! And that makes for a really good Friday.

Happy Easter! Jesus is alive! He lives. Rejoice!

there's a full moon tonight

2008-03-20T18:32:00.000+08:00

And suddenly, things didn't look so bad.

I don't have a picture of tonight's full moon here... I'm waiting to see if Deneb has one... *hint,hint*

I love the full moon. And I like the thought that people I love are out there, looking up at the same moon and enjoying it as much as I do. Yeah, I know. It's a song from An American Tale but it fits so perfectly! :) Canada. London. Quezon City. Manila. Los Banos. Negros. Even though we're so far away, we're still close at heart. And that together, on these nights, we are worshipping the God who created the moon and who binds us together in love.

Some IV students were here a while ago and they were singing under my window: "She's waiting. I know she's waiting. I know she waits for me. Under the lover's moon." Hahaha. Nakakatuwa. It's a wonderful night.

Since there's a wonderful out there, these verses fit the mood. :D

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- e.e. cummings-

Oh the bliss...

2008-03-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

... of staying up late because i want to and not because i have to.
... of waking up in the middle of the day because i've had enough sleep.
... of No lectures in the morning to stay up in, no SGD to read up on, no exam to review for.
... of not having to wear the white skirt and blouse.
... of not being reprimanded or getting 'why-don't-you-know-that?' looks.
... of movie marathons.
... of no reports to hand in.
... of taking my time in the bathroom and everywhere else.
... of alone time.
... of much-needed rest.

Oh such bliss!